History: SIX

EX WIVES - DIALOGUE

- Once the Ex-Wives number is finished, there's a spoken segment.

Cleves: How are you doing tonight?
Boleyn: She said, how are you doing tonight?!

Seymour: We are-
Queens: SIX!
Seymour: And welcome to our; Divorced, Beheaded, Live TOUR!

Howard: Oh, we've got a whole lot in store for you tonight.
Aragon: Mhm! We've got riffs to ruffle your ruffs!
- Ruffs were a part of the typical royal Tudor outfit.
Aragon (sung): Yeah!
Parr: Shimmies to shake up YOUR shimmies!
Seymour: And a whole lotta history!

Parr: Or as we like to call it, her-story!
Queens: Ha-ha!

Aragon: So, obviously you know who WE are!
Howard: Please, no portraits!
Aragon: But give it up for our ladies-in-waiting!

Boleyn: We've got, Maggie on the gui-tar!
Cleves: Bessie on the bass!
Parr: And killing on the keys, we've got Joan!
Aragon: And with some sick beats, it's Maria on the drums!

Cleves: So, you've came here tonight to party with us, old-school!
Seymour: Really, really old-school.. But we're not here to have fun.!
Howard: Nuh-uh! We've got a serious score to settle!
Parr: We've been in the shadow of one man for too long,
Boleyn: And we came here tonight, to step back into the spotlight!

Howard: The problem is there's-
Queens (sung): SIX!
Howard: -of us, and we know you've all got your favourite!
Aragon: Yes, everyone wants to know who's the most important one!
Cleves: And they've been arguing about it for centuries.
Parr: We've heard it all-

Aragon: Who lasted longest was the strongest!
- Catherine of Aragon had the longest marriage to Henry, for 24 years.
Boleyn: The biggest sinner is obvs the winner!
- Anne Boleyn was beheaded on charges of incest, adultery, and witchcraft, though all most likely untrue.
Seymour: Who had the son takes number one!
- Jane Seymour had Henry's long-awaited and longed for son, Edward, dying in the process.
Cleves: Who was most chased shall be first place!
- Henry pursued Anna of Cleves endlessly because of her portrait.
Howard: Most inglorious is victorious!
- Kathryn Howard lost all honour when she lost her head, as did all noblemen and women in her family.
Parr: The winning contestant was the most Protest-ant! Protestant!
- Catherine Parr was nearly arrested for debating her Protestant beliefs to Henry, because he was still a practicing Catholic even though he required Protestantism of all his subjects.

Aragon: But tonight! We came here to answer all your questions-
Boleyn (sung): Aw, take what you want! What you really, really want!
- This is a short parody of the Spice Girls hit, "Wannabe"
Boleyn: ...To know!

Seymour: That's right! We're gonna help you figure out which of us is-

Cleves: The queen of the castle!
- A little reference to the line in Get Down, "I'm the queen of the castle,"

Seymour: The rose among the thorns!
- Roses were a big thing in the Tudor court, because Henry VIII's father, Henry VII, ended the War of the Roses by defeating Richard III in battle and marrying Elizabeth of York.

Howard: The Thomas Cromwell amongst the Royal Ministers between 1532 and 1540!
- Thomas Cromwell was Henry's favourite minister for 8 years, he helped Anne Boleyn and Henry get married but was beheaded for Henry's failed marriage to Anna of Cleves.

Aragon: But how-the-purgatory are they gonna find out who's the leading lady?
Boleyn: Hold up! To make this a fair competition, they're gonna have to judge us on the one thing we have in common!
Seymour: The one to take the crown, should be the one who had the biggest,
Parr: The firmest,
Aragon: The fullest!
Cleves: Load of B-S to deal with from the man who put a ring on it!

Howard: So, we're gonna hold a little competition for you!
Boleyn: And the rules are simple!

Parr: The queen who was dealt the worst hand-

Seymour: The queen who had the most hardships to withstand-

Cleves: The queen for who things didn't really go as planned-

Queens: Shall be the one to lead the band!

Aragon: So are you ready to choose your leading lady?
Howard: She said, are you ready?!

Queens (sung): Welcome to the show, to the coronation! Who will take the crown, be the pop sensation?! Everybody knows that we used to be six wives, six wives, six wives, six wives, six wives!

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that's the first segment of dialogue complete!

xoxo