Doritos (Lashton)

73 Missed Calls

A/n: many sorries for many typos
*****
Luke felt Ashton's grip on his arm, so he swung it back, not realizing he'd hit him in the process. Luke stormed down to the lobby in his angry rage, hot tears spilling down his cheeks.

He felt so upset and so betrayed, that he was no longer thinking clearly. Every thought was overtaken with rage, and Luke was absolutely conflicted. He had no clue what to do. Luke roughly shoved the bathroom door aside, and slid down against the wall, sobbing into his arms. His body shook and tears dampened his sleeves as he cried.

Luke didn't hold back, and he cried, sobbing, yet unsure why. Fuck, yes, he was crying over Ashton. But part of him missed Ashton, and part of him worried. However, another part of Luke was angry, agitated and betrayed.

Luke didn't know how to feel, which only made him feel worse, and resulted in more tears. Luke cried for what felt like hours, but a glance at his phone through blurry eyes indicated only 15 minutes or so had passed. Luke screamed again as his hands tangled and pulled at his hair, his mind racing.

Luke didn't know how to feel, and felt numb to the point where he needed something to distract him. Luke's eyes simply fell to the door, and after a messy splash of water on his face, he booked it to the tourbus, not looking back once.
*****
Luke managed to persuade them to let him into the bus, and he instantly walked all the way back to the bunks.

Luke had climbed into Ashton's bunk out of habit, and didn't even realize until he began missing Ashton, as his scent hung in the sheets. He shut his eyes tightly and willed himself not to cry again, failing miserably. Luke's head buried itself in Ashton's pillow, body racking with sobs.

His legs grew stiff from the way he lay curled up, so when Luke finally sat up, he nearly toppled over. A wave of nausea and dizziness flooded the blonde as he muttered under his breath and dragged his body to the kitchenette, swallowing down a pain killer with a cold glass of water.

Luke felt...empty.

He was tired and drained from crying. At this point, Luke wasn't quite sure what to do. He sure as hell wasn't going to return to the hotel, as he didn't want to face Ashton. Luke could quite easily go to Calum or Michael, however, they'd been rather occupied and they'd know right away that something was wrong. 

Luke had no choice but to make do, and stay camped out in the bus until he calmed down enough that he'd be able to live in the same room as Ashton.

Or maybe he could get another?

Luke shook his head and scanned his phone quickly, grimacing at the 73 missed calls Ashton had left, voicemails attached to all of them. Luke wasn't quite ready to hear what Ashton had to say, and understandably so. He was confused, and in a strange position, which left him doubting everything.

Luke wasn't sure what he even wanted at this point, so he opted to distract himself, slipping carefully out the bus and managing to snag a guitar. It probably wasn't his own, but he couldn't quite bring himself to care, as there were far more pressing matters at hand.

Luke slipped between shadows and hid himself as best he could, right then being the worst time for attention. He managed to return to the bus silently, where he sat in Ashton's bunk, mind fuzzy.

Sitting alone in the bunk, head heavy as his fingers numbly strummed, Luke's cracked voice sang quietly, unconsciously singing Ashton's songs. Had he been too hasty?Luke didn't know what to do, and was filled with doubt and confusion. What if Ashton had an explanation? Maybe he did, but it better be a damn good one. Luke could no longer decide what he wanted, the only thing clear in his mind was Ashton. A strange feeling prodded at Luke's heart, and he sighed, choosing to return to the hotel room.

He was so angry at Ashton, and that made him upset. Being upset mad him want to cuddle Ashton, but his anger made him want to punch the other. Luke's emotions clouded him, and he couldn't decide what he wanted. The walk to the hotel was numb, and by the time he arrived, he felt worse then he had mere moments ago.

Luke slid his key card into the door and silently swung it open, huffing at the sight. The room was bathed in darkness apart from a small lamp lit in the corner, illuminating Ashton's body on the couch.

Luke's heart still felt hurt, so he buried himself under the covers, back silently turned to Ashton. His stubbornness didn't last very long, and moments later Luke found himself turning over, eyes fixing on Ashton's sleeping figure.

The lamp glowed faintly, and Luke sighed at the hoodie, his hoodie, that Ashton was wrapped up in. Ashton shifted ever so slightly, and it was what he revealed that caused Luke's heart to stop.

His jeans were aggressively ripped at the thighs, and with the faint light, he could see the bright, red, jagged cuts against Ashton's pale skin. Luke's throat was dry and he swallowed thickly, eyes further inspecting Ashton.

His heart sunk as he jammed his headphones into his phone, listening through Ashton's missed calls.

Each desperately asked for Luke to return, and through broken sobs Ashton profusely apologized before begging for Luke to help him, to save him.

Luke broke as he listened to the voicemails, heart lodging in his throat as it dawned on him that he'd broken his biggest promise.

Luke hadn't been there for Ashton.
*****
The next morning followed in a similar fashion, with Luke and Ashton distant, and obviously so.

To start with, Luke had woken up alone, if possible, more lonely then he had been mere hours ago. Ashton was nowhere to be found, and he returned a good hour after Luke started counting, exactly the way he had a few days back.

Hickey covered and clad in clothes that definitely didn't belong to him.

However, when Luke returned to the room because he'd forgotten his towel, he saw Ashton had burned a candle in the garbage can, and he tossed the shirt in, much to Luke's confusion.

There might've been something more going on, and by the end of his shower, Luke determined that he'd have to confront Ashton, as painful as it was going to be.

And if Ashton really was cheating on him...or had been, since they were broken up...then Luke would have to accept it.

He'd get over it eventually, right?

So Luke turned off the shower, motivated, and prepared to confront and talk to Ashton, something he hadn't done in what felt like days. He took his time to get ready, and once he left the steam filled room, he searched for Ashton, brows furrowing when Ashton was nowhere to be seen.

Luke's heart dropped, and he almost missed the body splayed on the opposite side of the bed, blood oozing out of the seemingly hundreds of cuts inflicted on the skin. A choked sob left Luke as he dropped next to Ashton, fingers desperately curling around his neck and wrist as he searched for Ashton's pulse.

It wasn't there.