𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐨 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬

Shikimaru x reader

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God the spa was perfect. You needed this, the water of the hot springs was wonderful what more could you ask for? Ohh, there's probably some chocolate around here somewhere, bet there's some inside. You walking through the water but the rocks beneath feel like they start to shift but when you look down they look still...what was going on? You take another step and the bottom disappears completely leaving you to fall into the dark abyss!
    
You open your eyes as your entire body jumps and look around, you're in your bed at home and you breathe a sigh of relief. You look over and see what woke you up, it's Shikamaru tossing and turning which he's never done your boy sleeps like a Goddamn rock, Hell you can barely get this much movement out of him when he's awake.

   "Asuma."

The name is quiet but there's no mistaking it even in your drowsy state you can understand what's going on. It's nearly been a year since Asuma's passed, the anniversary of his passing nearing and you'd noticed how much more Shikamaru had been smoking and to spite trying to talk to him an offer him some comfort he shrugged you off and insisted he was fine. You expected a breakdown like before...this one was just happening while he slept.

You wish there was a better way to wake him up but Shikamaru is such a heavy sleeper the only way to make him get up is to shake his shoulders.

"Shikamaru wake up, it's a dream. You're alright, come on wake up." You say as you shake him.

His arms grab you and your flipped onto your back and you're left staring at wide eyes and a sweaty face. "Hey, hey, hey! It's me! Y/N, take a breath!"

You watch his face fall as he comes into the waking world and he immediately lets go of you and rolls so he's not facing you anymore. "Shikamaru." You say softly, putting hand onto his shoulder.

But he gets up grabbing the pack of cigarettes on the bedside table and the lighter. "Shikamaru!" You say again firmer this time.

He stops for a moment. "Get back here right now." You demand.

He scoffs and keeps walking but he's not getting away, oh no he's gonna sit and talk about his feelings whether he likes it or not. You scramble up the bed and grab the back of his boxers and yank him back onto the edge of the bed he doesn't say anything he just groans and rolls his eyes before looking at you annoyed.

     "Talk to me." You say moving so you can see his face more clearly.

He looks away from you and down at the pack in his hands and takes one out. "You said you wouldn't smoke in the house." You say.

     "Then stop being annoying and let me go outside." He says back, his voice is cold and flat.

   "Not till we talk." You say shaking your head.

He doesn't say anything back but he doesn't get up to leave either. "I know you miss him." You say softly and again you get silence as a return. "But he wouldn't want this...he wouldn't want you beating yourself up over it, you know that." You say rubbing his arm.

He shakes his head a little as his brows scrunch together. "What would you know about what he would and wouldn't want?" He asked annoyed.

  "He would've wanted to be alive...and because I didn't do enough he's not." He said getting up.

     "That's not true and you know it!" You say getting up.

     "He trusted me and I failed!" He yelled back at you. "I failed to protect him! Because of me he's dead! Because of me Mirai is fatherless and Kurenai is a widow!" He shouted throwing his hands up. "I'm a coward." He said his voice cracking.

     All the shouting and the look on his face had your emotions running as rampant as his were so before screaming back at him you took a breath. "That's not true." You finally managed to get out as you shook your head. "Asuma would never think that of you and you know Kurenai doesn't blame you for what happened." You say taking a few steps towards him and putting your hands on his shoulders. "Asuma asked you to take care of his daughter, his unborn child...you think he would've done that if he thought you were a coward? You think he would trust just anyone with that? No."
You said shaking your head "He trusted you because he knows you're a good Shinobi and an even better man." You said and you were getting emotional, you loved Shikamaru so much and you wanted him to see himself like how you saw him and seeing his eyes get watery made your own do the same. "Even if you are a stubborn hard head." You said with a laugh.

     He let out one too as he tried to choke back a sob. "It's okay." You say softly.

     He practically fell into your arms as sobs began to rake his body, you held him tight for what was maybe minutes, maybe hours but it didn't matter you'd stand here and hold him for however long he needed.

     Eventually you got him to climb back into bed and cuddle up once more. "I'm sorry." He whispered into your neck.

     "You can make it up to me tomorrow with breakfast." You teased.

     He let out a small laugh. "Breakfast? You know I don't get up that early how about lunch?" He pitched.

     "On one condition." You say.

     "And what's that?" He asked into your neck as he pressed a soft kiss to it.

    "You leave the smokes at home." You say moving back so you can look at his face.

     "Alright." He sighed pressing a kiss to your lips.

     You kissed him back and it was like a blanket of calm was placed over the two of you, he pulled back and rested his head back into the crux of your neck.

"Troublesome." He muttered under his breath.

     "I heard that." You whispered back.
     You flattened out his hair a little so it wasn't so in your face. "I know." He said with a small laugh.

    You let out one too before closing your eyes and drifting back off. Where had you been? Oh right: chocolate

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