contagiously In Love

31

  

Things were bumping, people were talking, music was loud and the air was clouded with smoke from all the cigs flying around. Typical things us teens endure and take proud of,me on the other hand wasnt feeling right, i wanted togo home but i knew if i left katie would just hound me about it later. I wanted my bed, I wanted my fluffy pink blanket that knows just how to keep me warm, My mind was clouded with things we all knew about so my mood wasnt so perfect .

katie was sprunged up on anthony, that didnt make me any happier nor more sad.

"whats wrong?" katie asked she must have ran out of breath from sucking anthonys face off.

"nothing, ima get me a drunk" I didnt want katie to suspect nothing

I pushed, budged and throw people out my way, like cmon who just stands in the middle of a halway looking at nothing and not speaking? no wonder why adults calls us stupid .

Once i finally reached the kitchen, i dodged a girl who was running with sick flying out her mouth, and grabbed a beer off the small counter that once was a beautiful isle.

I couldnt understand why beer or any other type of alcohol taste like relief like some type of emotionless formula that made those who needed help, relief on life.beer looked nasty and even tasted gross but the way it slides down your throat and empties the emotions you have build up is something i would never understand. I just, idk i just dont like this environment,  to be asked to attend one was a big deal though, but, i wasnt me. Ive tried my whole high school life to be one of those girls who loved all of this,who lives off of life and friends but i failed. I want to fit in but i never will, I wanted that special boy but never got it.

Jake was suposed to make sure all that happened, make all my wishes come true, he promised me he would. Ok ok making promises at the age of 6 is a bit hard to follow by but, I never saw it any diffrent, never thought any diffrent and never knew any diffrent, so why did this happen?

Why am i the only chick standing awkwardly in the kitchen corner watching as everyone has fun?

I have money, I have a nice car, i have a broken home, nice hollidays so why isnt this enough?

It coud be mine youngly colour hair, or my fish eyes or even my stick bone figure, even so i didnt deserve to be ignored or dismissed as if i didnt matter.

"hey"

i turn to look who was talking and to my surprised it was brittney. I didnt give a responce just stared at her as if she was crazy 

" im not here to be mean jessica,  can we talk" she sounded anoyed

"um whats up?"

she leans agaisnt the counter " Nothig, a bit bored i guess, how are you?"

wtf "im ok?"

"stop acting like im going to do something"

"how can i not act this way" i said

" look, i figured since jake and you are like friends or whatever i should be nice to you right? I mean its not like were going shopping or anything, i just dont see a harm in speaking when your at a social agthering"

"right"

she turns to face me " jake likes you ya know, and i dont mean like a friend" I rolled my eyes, knowing that wasnt true. "its true, you just dont see it yet" she leans back " I know about your date"

" you can not tellanyone about it" i demanded

"wont tell anyone you guys had a good time? i wont but what was so bad about that night"