contagiously In Love

32

3 weeks and 2 days

it has been 3 weeks and 2 days since Jake broke my heart.

I wasnt upset anymore, i was more mad then anything. everything set me off, and i mean everything, like for example my mother made spagetti which was the best meal she ever made but since my moods are waked out i went off on her saying it was nasty and i hate it, just because it was cold, like cmon who gets upset about that? there is a thing called a microwave.

I didnt like the way i was acting. It wasnt me, i mean it was me but the mood swings wasnt, I feel like everything is crashing down on me, like the planets are alined and its throwing bad luck my way,at school im known not only the nerd but the nerd who jaked played and made a fool of. I hate him, everyting about him is nasty,stupid and gross. yeah sure his eyes are a deep blue sea color and his smile is bright and big. His arms are the best thing on him,the way they wrapped around me when we had sex was like a big bear holding me. ok so im not so over him but i do hate him, hate him because i want him. im messed up arent I?

Lets face it no matter what he does i still want him, he could push me away when i want a kiss but i will forever stand there with my lips out waiting for that moment again. I hate it, i really really hate it. i still want to speak to him, sometimes when something cool,sad or stupid happens i pick up my phone dialing his number without thinking,the only thing that makes me hang up is the voice on the other end. its weird that no matter what was said and done he still picks up his phone to me. im starting to think maybe he wants me to crawl to him,beg for him to come back or whatever it was that we had, but i wont, i cant. after the humilation he has caused me i couldnt let everyone see me as a dumb girl. I do want him back oh boy do I.

katie is off being all loved up with tony, my mother is in her own world,my father is away and my brother is away with my dad, so im alone. All i had at one point was jake,even though we faught most of the time it was still fun. I just need someone to talk to about all of this, i feel like i have no one, that everyone else has a life but me, which is true but still i need someone once in awhile.

ring ring

"hello?"

"hey jess whats up?" katies voice boomed through the phone

"nothing just sitting here, why?"

"dont be rude" she hissed "im already full of harmones that arent pleasent so dont make me go off on you"

"idc if you go off on me katie" i hissed back"

"fine il just hang up"

"no wait" i said "im just in a bad mood im sorry"

"im sorry two, so whats up why you in a mood? omg are you prego two!?" she half screamed

"what? no!"

"then is it jake?" i stayed quite "it is jake,,,look, whatever was said its stupid and hes just igoring his feelings for you, i say we give him a call"

"and say what kate? that i miss him? that i love his stupid ways and i want to have sex with him to just feel his arms around me?"

"Eewww!!" crap "did you say sex?"

i rolled my eyes "is that the only thing you heard?"

"i heard other stuff but mostly sex" she laughed " look if you dont want to talk to him then maybe you should go out and make him want to talk to you"

i lean up in my bed knwing where this is heading "are you talking about....."

"yes a party, tonys friend is having a party and he invited most of the block plus more, i know forsure jake will be there with his new girl toy and..."