When the birds stopped chirping

30. From Me To You

"Drop your act already!"

The sound of Koji's voice behind my back startled me. Now that the two of us were alone at home, I dreaded to pay the price of recklessness. It made my skin crawl, feeling his breath brushing against the back of my neck as I resisted the urge to pull away from him. His slender hands snaked around my waist, holding firmly onto me:

"You'd better behave nicely. So, let me ask you once more; what are you hiding from my knowledge?" he whistled.

"About what? I've already reported to Minister Tazer that today's conference went as planned, haven't I? That's true; I haven't noticed anything of significant importance..."

"You're obviously lying!" he screamed, enraged.

Whenever he went on a rampage, one could not expect to get away from him unharmed; especially me, the catalyst of his greedy nature.

"Lying to you about what?" I inquired calmly.

"Tell me more about that incident earlier today. I'm always eavesdropping, so you can't hide anything from my knowledge, don't you remember?" Koji recalled, harbouring always the same devilish grin.

I proceeded with cooking dinner as if to make diversion, tight-lipped; nevertheless, my mind went blank. I should have known that I must never underestimate Koji's might. Like Big Brother watches you, he tracked me down day and night. Every action became one step closer to death, or their deaths. He mimicked a gun laid on my temple,

"If you don't obey my will, it'll go bang-bang; you know that, right?"

"You know that we've been living together for nineteen years because you're blackmailing me."

"I bargained to get you out of death's corridor under conditions. If you so wish to protect them, shouldn't you fulfil your end of the contract? Assuming you're gonna own up to your responsibilities once you meet again with your son, of course."

I quivered, reminded that I hanged on to Koji's promise. If I complied with everything he asked, one day Arata and I would meet again. It was Koji's fault for relying on my lack of commitment. Koji's traits suddenly lit up, remembering something,

"Why didn't I send Volton Loeth to do the worthless job instead of you?" he asked out of the blue.

"To single out the weed from the grass," I replied curtly.

"That's right. Turns out it was that easy to make you self-assured of your job's merits."

"What do you mean?" I asked, freezing.

"Dreamers' new recruit happened to be an Artea's student. Minister Tazer asked me to put you on the case. You had one job to do right. In the end, you screwed up big time. How should you make up for it?"

"I... I didn't think it through," I pleaded. "I was on my way to Artea's auditorium when..."

"If you mess up ever so slightly once more, I'll make you regret your light-mindedness bitterly!"

***

I awoke at birdsong, haunted by his hissing voice, his silhouette leaned over me. It took me a few minutes to recollect myself together after a daunting restless slumber. I, worried for Kim, dreaded every morning to hear about his execution on the news. Each passing day reminded me of my powerlessness. Only my long-lost motherly instinct kept me from diving into despair. Knowing what ruthless torture convicts went through inside Hell's anteroom put me through an excruciating, delayed death by guilt. At the very least, I must atone for my faults by snatching him away from those scavengers' fangs before their angry beaks devoured him alive. If I could not save my son's life, I would never forgive it to myself.