Truth - Rey x Reader

Chapter II

"How is she?" Poe asks once Finn leaves Rey's quarters.

"Not good. I've never seen her like this before. She'll hardly talk. She won't eat. She won't train. She won't do anything. She's distraught."

"It's been two days. She needs to at least eat."

"She's not having anything. I've tried."

Poe sighs and runs a hand through his hair. Rey has not been the same since your death. As Finn said, she hasn't spoken much, eaten, trained, or anything else. She is too heartbroken to even get out of bed. She clings to your pillow, exhausting the smell from it just to maintain that little bit of connection she feels with you. The hardest part isn't necessarily losing you - yes, that is hard, too - but losing your Force connection is awful. It's an entire new level of pain - a pain that Rey never thought she'd have to endure.

It was a connection you formed when you first met and only got stronger as you kept seeing each other. It was powerful and infrangible. It was something that only YOU TWO shared and it was the most precious and sacred commodity and it meant the universe to you. Now, that connection is gone and Rey is absolutely beside herself. She feels lost and she doesn't feel like Rey anymore. She doesn't know who she is without you.

She feels guilty by the second to the point where she almost hates herself. She keeps thinking "if only" and that gets her nowhere but in a dark abyss that seems impossible to escape. Now, she feels alone. She feels like she used to as that lonely girl on Jakku surviving on her own with no clue who she is or what her purpose in life is. She constantly thinks about when you met on the desert planet and how quickly you bonded and fell in love.

The memories are wistful and Rey wishes she could go back to that time but more importantly, she wishes she could have saved you. She will never forgive herself for what happened to you and unfortunately, your death is always at the forefront of her thinking.

"I don't know what do to," says Finn.

"That's because you don't know what it feels like to lose your soulmate," General Leia Organa's voice appears behind the men, startling them.

"General," they greet.

"How is she?"

"Not the Rey we know and love," Finn answers.

"We can't afford for her to continue being like this, General," Poe states. "I know she's lost her love and she has every right to grieve but-"

"It's okay, Poe," Leia pats him on the shoulder. "I've got this. You two run along."

Finn and Poe exchange looks before nodding in agreement and leaving. Leia smiles at them then turns to Rey's door, knocking on it gently.

"Rey, honey, it's me," she announces then waits a few moments before letting herself in.

Her heart breaks at the sight of Rey curled up in bed, clutching your pillow to her chest wearing your nightwear. Leia can't control the tiny smile that appears on her face as she observes the girl. She knows Rey is heartbroken but she thinks it is so beautiful that she loves you so dearly, reinforcing just how strong your connection to one another was and just how real being with you was.

"Rey..." Leia sits next to the brunette whose eyes are red and swollen as her cheeks are stained with tears.

"I've lost her... I've lost her and it's all my fault..." She mutters, barely audible. "My Stars..." Because you are her stars, suns, and planets - you're her everything.

"You haven't," she states and Rey shifts her eyes to meet the older woman's gaze. "She'll always live inside you."

"But she's gone..."

"Nobody's ever truly gone." Leia flashes her signature smile that brings comfort and hope to all those it graces.

"I can't live without her... She's gone because of me... If I... If I just-"

"Rey," Leia interjects. "Don't waste your time and energy into thinking about the "what if's". That only makes things worse and you weren't to know that was going to happen to her. She made sure that everyone got on the ship safely and she will always be remembered as a hero that got you and everyone else safe."

"That shouldn't have happened... None of it should have... I... I got so angry... I felt something in me so strong and powerful that I couldn't resist it. I didn't even think about resisting it. It just... took over me... and I let it..."

"What did you feel?"

"Anger... Sadness... Justice... Revenge... I killed everyone in my way just to get to her. I... I used the Force on Finn because he tried to stop me and I didn't care. I didn't even think twice about it. I don't know why I did that..."

"Because you love her," Leia answers matter-of-factly. "Love is the strongest Force any of us could ever experience. All of us have felt it and we all have it in us to love- it's inevitable and uncontrollable. When you fall in love, you never experience anything else so grand and precious. It will stick with you forever and always."

"I can't love another. Not like her. Never like her."

"Nobody is asking you to and nobody expects you to."

"But I feel... I feel like I can't move on... She's gone and I feel that a part of me is gone, too..."

"She will always be with you, Rey, no matter what."

"I hope so..."

"She will be. I promise you."

Tears roll down Rey's cheeks, feeling a sense of warmth and comfort from Leia's words. Leia always knows just what to say. You always knew just what to say as well but Rey now has to get used to you not being there for her. It's a painful thought and Rey would rather not cogitate on it but she knows the truth and it is emphatically agonising and somber.

"Try and eat something, honey. I know you don't want to but she would want you to. She wouldn't want you like this."

Rey nods because she knows that she does need to eat but more so, she knows that you wouldn't want her in this state.

"That's my girl," Leia leans over and places a gentle kiss on Rey's head. "I'm always here for you, remember that."

"I will."

"And the boys, too. They're worried about you."

"I know."

Leia nods with a smile before leaving. Despite Rey's overbearing heartbreak, Leia's words have taken some of the pain away. Rey knows that recovering from your loss is going to be a lengthy and arduous journey but she will get through it with the support of her family. Rey knows she will always have Leia, Finn, Poe, Chewbacca, and everyone else but being without you will be the hardest thing to live with.