Fourty-three

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Kayleigh POV

The voices never went away.
Not fully.
Some days they were so quiet I could forget they were ever there to begin with.
On bad days I would almost rather listen to the sound of a drill, than them.

I'd never be better, and every day was a constant struggle.

Days like today, make me wish I would've stayed away in the darkness.

I wanted to slip, to fall back to what had been familiar. But I knew I couldn't, I couldn't do that to Bell. Not again.

Flashback

"Bell, just let me and Cammie take the baby for a while-

"No, we're fine."

Keeping my eyes closed, I listened to their voices. They weren't here in the room with me, that much my groggy mind knew. Their voices had to be coming from the next room over.

"look man your exhausted.."

John... John was with Bell

"I said we're fine."

He didn't sound fine, I didn't have to see him to know that he wasn't.he sounded angry. I didn't have to look at him to know it to be true.

"We're just trying to help-

"I don't need anyone's help! Okay?!"

Everything he said after that was hard to hear, as a wailing cry echoed through. The more Bellamy raged, the louder the cries became.

Bell..The pain, and heartache he was feeling, I felt as my own. And I couldn't stop the tears from falling any longer when the pain and heartache in his voice turned.

Anger and resentment.
All of it for me.

Because instead of staying with him-them like I promised, I slipped further away.

There was no one here to hunt, nothing to feed the voices with.
They grew stronger, and having nothing to feed them, I fell harder.

"I can't even unchain her so she can feed our son! I can't even go near her without setting her off!" Bellamy rages. "I-I just, I need her to come back." He says brokenly, "I need her."

I didn't think my chest could close any tighter, or that the air would feel like it had been sucked from the room when I heard his broken sob.
I wanted to go to him, wanted to call out his name. My arms tugged against the binding, but it gave no way, and no sound would pass my lips.

I didn't know how much time had passed when the cries had dwindled away to nothing along with the sounds of his voice. I could do nothing but lay there staring up at the ceiling.

I wasn't sure why the voices were so quiet. As if they had finally sated their hunger that had been denied for too long. They were there, but not as loud.

I was alone.. Just like I was after they took momma away.

"You don't have to be alone anymore," Tavias voice floats through, the memory of the day at the lake, her hand held out for mine, "Together."

"I love you." A voice said, and another memory filtered through. "I love all of you, Kayleigh," and I can almost feel Bell's lips press against mine. "I'm not going anywhere."

"I will follow you from this world and into the next."

Asher.

I was hurting them.

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