Zero Two Three One | John Laurens X Reader [Hamilton]

XXVIII: Two Years Ago

I spot Luka on the kitchen counter, a chair pushed against it (presumably to help him climb up). The five-year-old boy is kicking his legs idly. A small radio is next to him, the volume turned down so that all that can be heard from it is low humming.

I see myself in him. It's not only that we look quite alike, with (H/C) hair and wide (E/C) eyes. We have the same fiery spirit and witty attitude. I am positive that I've rubbed off on him.

My dearest little brother. I love him the most in this messed up world. My heart swells with fear at the thought of any harm coming his way. My instinct to protect him is stronger than any other instinct I have, including the survival instinct. Quite plainly, I'd die for Luka. I'd die for him a million times over. On hard days and tough times, I truly wish I could give up. I want nothing more than to curl up in a corner and await death to greet me with his cold embrace. It's Luka who keeps me going. It's knowing that he needs me that gets me up in the morning. I'm striving for him and nothing else.

Even now, as I look upon the small boy, I can't help but pull a smile... even if he did do two wrong things tonight: the lights and the fireplace.

"Did you forget?" I coo, giving him a playful grin while still hoping I can drill a message into him. "We can't use this light."

As I said this, Alexander strode over to the light switch and flicked it, turning the lights off.

"Sorry," Luka sighs. "It was getting dark and I was scared."

From behind me, Alexander lights a candle, dimly illuminating the room. "Yeah, the dark can be scary," Alexander kindly says. "But we can't afford to use the lights. It's too expensive."

"I know," Luka bows his head in shame. "But I didn't know what else to do."

I take Luka's hand and help him off the counter. "That's why I taught you how to start a fire in the fireplace, Luka."

"I forgot how to."

"Come on, Luka," Alexander smiles. "I'll teach you again."

Luka smiles back at Alexander, taking his hand happily. "Okay, Alex! I'll be a great student!"

"I know you will."

Before he takes Luka to the fireplace with the fire supplies, Alexander reaches into his pocket and hands me all the money. I watch Luka and Alexander stride back into the living room, then let my smile drop. Alright, business time.

I pour the coins onto the counter, turning up the volume of that stupid radio in the process. I bite my lip as I try my best to organize the coins and do mental math. Alexander did his best to teach me math, but I still have a little trouble. I count in my head, putting a value to each ruble (our currency in Russia), then sigh at the total.

Thirty rubles. That should be enough to get some bread tomorrow morning. I'll save half of the remainder for "taxes". Truthfully, they shouldn't be considered taxes since they aren't being taken from any income (what income? We don't have jobs?) Every month, a government official comes though town and takes sums of money from everyone. How much money? Well, that depends on several factors, but it's quite a lot. If you miss this payment the first time, you get a break and the taxes get added onto the next month's taxes. If you fail to pay that, well...

The people in my town jokingly call it the "Life Tax". A tax for merely living.

As I recount the coins and confirm my math, I listen to the radio.

"It was these Russian Rebels who saw the corrupt government and their wrongdoings. It was these Russian Rebels who expressed the anger of the Russian people when the government began to sympathize with America and their barbaric ways. And it was these Russian Rebels who took a stand against the government, freeing all people and bring prosperity to the land. Wealth and freedom-"