L.O.V.E.

Chapter 19 - Nerissa

Intimate relationships, although permitted after the Selection, are not encouraged. Usually, partners choose artificial insemination as a meaning of procreation, but sometimes that does not help much. Permanent cohabitation can lead to accidental contamination and, as a result, the Supreme Government has tightened up the surveillance, implementing mandatory weekly tests, and even random ones, using the manual testers like ELISA.

Nerissa raises her legs to her chest, hugging them with her bruised arms. She's still cold, even though the heater works at full speed. Her body shivers as painful glimpses of her and Roone flash in her mind. The image of him touching the stars is like a dagger piercing her heart. Soon the tears are going to gush, no matter how hard she's trying to keep them at bay. Ilya watches her carefully as the light reveals all her cuts, one after the other.

'What happened to you? Are you hurt?' Horrified, she asks so fast her tongue gets tangled in her mouth.

She couldn't give a damn right now if her father hears them. It's not like Nerissa hasn't previously spent the night at their house. Besides, he was already quite tipsy before passing out on the couch and could have easily missed her arrival.

Nerissa takes a long, deep breath and gestures Ilya to come and sit near her. It's going to be a long, sleepless night until she finishes her tale.

'I don't even know where to start. It's a long story.' She speaks, tired and hurt by the twisted turn her life has taken.

Her skin still burns where he had touched, however, the thought that everything is over presses painfully on her chest. Ilya takes her seat on the bed, all eyes and ears to her friend. Her grin has vanished from before, a concerned frown taking its place instead.

'It all started on the night of the party.' Nerissa begins her story, taking short breaks when the memories become too painful. 'Roone offered to walk me home, and because I was too afraid, I might get caught, I accepted. I don't know what would have happened to me if he wasn't there.'

She decides to keep whatever occurred between them to herself. It's over anyway, and besides, she doesn't want Ilya to mock her over and over, or worse, make her an accomplice for harboring an infected civilian. It's bad enough she knows about her secret, but having proof of her illness it's even worse.

Nonetheless, mouthing out loud about what happened to Susan and how the Iron Guard tried to kill them, it sounds unreal, impossible even. Without him, she would have definitely ended up dead. There's no doubt about it. When she takes a break for air, Ilya looks at her bewildered. She can't believe what her best friend has been through.

'OMG, Nerissa!' She exclaims stunned and, for the first time in her life, at a loss for words.

Then, Ilya grabs her shoulders and starts inspecting her skin for any bleeding wounds. She cannot possibly know Roone has already beaten her to it. Only after she's completely sure her friend is okay, Ilya dares to clasp her into a warm embrace.

'And you let me babble stupid things like that? I don't believe you!' She continues on a smooth and tender voice. Her eyes are wide open in shock.

'Well...' Nerissa wants to tell her friend that she had no choice, but Ilya cuts her off again.

Usually, when she puts her mind to something, she is as stubborn as a mule.

'Why haven't we heard about IG before and, more importantly, why would they take Susan?' She asks no one in particular, pacing the room like a madman and rubbing her chin.

It is typical for Ilya to divert everyone's problems and make it a personal quest.

'I didn't finish the story yet. Sit down, would you? You are stressing me out!' Nerissa commands her, exhausted.

She can't deal with her right now. Ilya complies immediately with her order, this time sitting on the floor, legs tucked under her and waiting quietly for her to continue.

'The rebels were looking for my mother's scientific journal. My parents worked at improving the nanovaccine and came really close to finding a cure. I don't understand any of it. To tell you the truth, I am not even sure if it wasn't the illness talking, but she implied in her writings, that love is what will free us. I don't know what to believe anymore. I suppose Susan knew about the notebook and hid it so no one can find it.'

The well-known wave of sadness pops out of nowhere and takes its rotten place in the center of her heart. It's slightly different this time, as it grew bigger with her grandmother's disappearance. She understands why Susan kept everything to herself, that she wanted to protect Amanda's secret. For all she knows, keeping it hidden was her way of rebelling against the system for taking her daughter away. However, she would have liked to know about it, to help. Maybe I could have protected her. A guilty thought starts brooding in her mind.

'And where's this notebook, then?' Ilya asks impatient, interrupting her train of thought, and bringing Nerissa back to reality.

'I don't know. I must have dropped it somewhere in the house. It was too late when I noticed I don't have it anymore. I am so stupid. What if they'd found it already? What if they have both Susan and my parents' work?' She replies hysterically, her eyes flooded with tears.

Unable to breathe, her lungs scream for air as the treacherous feeling of uselessness creeps into her soul.

'It's my fault if something happens to her...' Words escape her mind while she battles to keep herself together.

'Maybe it's still there. I'll go with you tomorrow and help you search for it. Everything is going to be alright. You'll see!' Ilya's calming words are starting to take effect, making her feel slightly better.

Then, she pulls her into a tight embrace, rocking her gently. The tension of the past days falls heavy on Nerissa's shoulders, exhaustion settles in. She yawns while she wipes off her tears, thankful for having her best friend by her side.

'Come on now, you need some sleep, girl. You look worse than my aunty, Glenda, who is ancient!' Ilya teases as they hide under the blanket.

'Geez, thanks.' Nerissa barks back at her bad joke, but then she adds. 'I mean it. Thanks for being there for me.'

'Always.'

The lamp has long stopped working, its light convulsing as the power gradually faded off. Regardless, the room is still fairly lit up, the clear skies unveiling the mysteries of the dark. It could be the moon or a group of patrolling guards illuminating the walls. Either way, thick shadows are gathered in the corners, threatening to bite if bothered. Before falling asleep, Ilya asks the last question.

'Have you thought what are you going to do next?'

With a foot in what looked like the beginning of a nightmare, Nerissa replies half asleep.

'Roone said the Iron Guard has members infiltrated everywhere, watching and waiting for the best time to attack. I guess I'll act normal until I find out where they keep Susan. Clearly, I'll need your help, but I cannot have you involved if something goes wrong.' The thought sends shivers down her spine.

The last thing she wants, is to put Ilya in jeopardy. She wouldn't forgive herself if something happened to her. She is the only safe heaven she has left in this world.

'Smart choice', she replies, 'and you know you can always count on my help. Soon everything will go back to normal. I'm sure of it.' Ilya's encouraging words float in the night, although they'll never reach their destination, as Nerissa has already been fast asleep.

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