My famous Long Lost Brother

19

authors note: this is my most read book and i get really exited when i see it has more veiws everyday. i hope you guys ae enjoying it, and if you could, please leave a comment if you think i need to fix something, or leave your thoughts on the book so far. Ps- this book is far from over :) enjoy!
Pps- idk bout the chapter pic dont know what im doing haha

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"yes?" the nurse asks turning back around.

"i had a psycological question."

"alright, what is it?" she moves over to my bedside, louis still beside me, clutching my hand.

"i uh... well. me and my boyfriend were wondering why we keep having nightmares about loosing eachother. and for me, they have gotten worse and scarier." the nurse just looks at me funny.

"please? she wakes up screaming in the middle of the night thinking im dead." Louis please and squeezes my hand tighter.

"ummm i dont know the answer to that. but we have a psycologist in the hospital that you could ask." i nod and she walks out.

"a psycologist? Lou, im nervous. what if they find something wrong with me?"

"their could never be anything wrong with you."

i sigh. "thats what i mean Lou, thats too deep for when we have only known eachother a little over a week!" he looks at me. i stare back.

"but amanda-"

"Louis please?" i whisper.

"you dont love me, do you?" hurt is in his eyes. i watch them change.

"Love is such a strong word for two people who met only a week ago." [the 'week ago song started playing in my head when i wrote this lol. now back to the story.]

"i knew it, you dont love me." he turns away, but not before i see a tear spill over.

"No Louis, i like you alot. i guess... i mean.. i have just always gotten hurt from saying love to someone i thought loved me. i do love you, but im afraid if i say it , im gonna get hurt. i know you dont want to hurt me, but something could happen that could leave me scarred forever."

His expression softens.

"You think i might hurt you?"

"Well it sounds bad when you put it like that." I huffed.

"It is bad! I cant believe you would think i would hurt you! You know me a lot better than that."

"The thing is, thats what my ex boyfriend would say. Then after he beat me, he would say it was an accident. And i was stupid and believed him. He broke my arm and gave me a black eye once. So sorry if its hard to trust another guy."

I shut my mouth, surprised that came out. No one was supposed to know that. I covered my mouth and regretted the words that had spilled out in anger. I was yelling at him something i never wanted him to know.

Utter shock was on his face. All mean-ness was gone left with utterly heartbreaking pain and shock on his face. I started crying and shoved my face into my pillows. I just confessed that my ex abused me. I cant believe i did that. I was getting angry and just trying to make louis understand why i wanted to take things slow.

Now i was crying. He probably felt sorry for me. Sorry for getting mad at me. But i didn't want pity. I wanted someone who i knew cared for me besides my mother and brothers. I didn't know if my dad loved me. After all, they divorced when i was born.

I kept crying as the rage from john, my ex, came back to me. Before all this drama, louis had made me forget all about john. But now i felt johns fists beating me till i past out. Believing his flat out lies that it was my fault. That everything was all my fault.

I had told no one about his abuse. I just said i kept running into things, but when my mother saw me with a broken arm and a black eye, she lost it. She put the pieces together.

Every time i went to Johns house, i came back with a new injury and new scars to be with me forever. When she found out, he was charged as an adult with domestic abuse and attempted murder.

The next year was hard. I was over sensitive to everything and i always thought i would get beaten when i did something wrong.

But i was never abused again. My mother was never mad and she actually understood why i didn't tell anyone.

Im i the midst of my thoughts when i feel strong arms slide around me, and a body next to me, holding mine.

"Louis-"

"I never knew that you had an abusive ex."

"Yea well i don't really open up about that, it was an accident that i even told you. No one but john and my mother know. Well, now you do."

"Not even Liam knows?"

"God no! He would get so mad and i never want to see him like that. Besides, he wouldn't want me dating you anymore because he would think I'm not ready. But he knows you very well and knows that you wouldn't hurt me."

"I think you should tell liam." He whispers.

"Why? It was an accident to tell you!"

"He deserves to know! He's your brother!"

"Please don't yell louis."

"Im sorry." His tone becomes soft like when he is about to cry. I turn myself and face him.

"No...I'm sorry... Im getting mad at you for being so caring... I just-i don't know what to do. Your so good to me, and I'm pushing you away. But louis, ill promise you thing. I love you."

"I love you too." He smiled and brushed the brown hair from my eyes. "There they are. Big and brown. You know, you and Liam look so much alike."

"I know." I smiled and kissed his cheek.

"So would that little dispute count as our first argument?"

"Yes." I smiled.

"Amanda Payne and Louis Tomlinson?" I look up and see a middle aged woman in a dark purple turtle neck and grey pants.

"Yes?" Louis says, beating me to her question.

"Im the psychologist."