Reach Above and Beyond

Time

They say time can heal anything,

Emotions, sickness, and broken hearts.

But how can time help me,

When I don't even know how to start?

I can try to reflect, change,

And pray for an epiphany or two.

But that won't save me,

From whatever I do.

I feel like I am stuck in this endless cycle,

That I can never seem to escape.

Is it wrong for me to be human,

And to want to challenge my fate?

The things that I desire,

That I reach out to grasp.

Always seem to elude me,

Just like my past.

I can only focus on my future,

As my memories start to fade.

I can discern my heartbeat faltering,

As my body begins to degrade.

I start having a hard time to recall,

What I was once told.

These fleeting recollections evade me,

And I detect my own darkness grow bold.

Even though I endeavor to remember,

And reminiscence about the happier things.

I draw up a blank slate,

And can't recollect anything.

Why is that we can never forget,

The terrible events that have happened to us.

But can always remember,

Our anguish, our sadness, the things we wish not to discuss.

I feel so caged and unable to let go,

Of all of the mistakes that I have made.

I keep it all bottled in and pray that no one will ever know,

And stop their endless questioning crusade.

I want to be left alone,

As I feel the seconds ticking by.

It seems like Father Time enjoys my company,

That I wished, I could deny.

As I stand here, I begin to wonder when,

I started to contemplate on,

What was going on inside me, within.

Was it because I stared at that pool of water,

Looking at my own reflection?

Or was it because I finally understood,

That no one can maintain that façade of pure perfection.

I see the endless grains of sand,

Traverse down its jail cell of glass.

I envision myself sinking,

In that unforgiving mass.

I feel my claustrophobia close on in,

As the shifting sands plummet.

My body is restricted; I feel pinned.

As Time seems to trickle on by,

Unlike its previous punishing rate,

I attempt to reach out for help,

But I know that I cannot escape my own fate.

There is this ungodly burden on my shoulders,

That I realize that only I can bear.

I can only endure this tortuous torment for so long,

As the weight increases and people stare.

Why can't I shoulder off,

All of these trepidations and doubts?

I want to get it all off of my chest,

And break free of my enclosure and shout.

I now know finally that whatever I do,

Won't save me anymore.

I can pray for an epiphany or two,

And try to reflect and change,

But that is not how I should start.

Time can't help me anymore,

With my emotions, sickness, and broken heart.

They say time can heal anything,

But I would like to beg to differ.

It's just so wrong to quip something so unrealistic,

To place faith in something so undefined.

When in reality the only solution you can find,

Is somewhere hidden, within the depths of your own mind.

It's time for me to fully reclaim myself,

Because I am who I am; I am who I am meant to be.

I can no longer be defined by the trivial things which are not mine.

I am me.