snow(falling) in love with you- steve rogers (part one)

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You turned back to him again. "A big mess? Why? Because we both have our own priorities, things to do? Because superheroes don't put crushes before saving the world? Is that why it's a big mess?"

"I'm sorry, but...are you okay?"

"What? Yeah, I'm okay. There's nothing wrong with me...if that's what you're wondering."

"You keep changing your stances. I don't know what you really want," he explained.

"I don't even understand myself," you replied, looking down at your mug of tea, "how could you understand me? And this repeating cycle of my mood swings is the insomnia talking. So you know, let's just make a simple toast now. Non-alcoholic, obviously. Cheers to the future."

"Cheers," a small smile made its way onto Steve's face as you clinked your glasses together and he took a sip of his ginger ale.

Once finishing your drink you felt your body grow heavy from fatigue, letting your head fall against his broad shoulder as you stared blankly out the giant window with the snowflakes still falling down, tall buildings seeming to stretch up and touch the sky.

When Steve tried to move your head slightly you wouldn't budge, only shifting to make yourself more comfortable.

You looked up and met his gaze. "What? Is my head heavy?"

"Y-yeah, a bit," he responded.

"Hold on. If my small face is too heavy for you," you sat up straight and smacked his shoulder, "then how do you bench-press 250 pounds and carry a vibranium shield on your back which I know is heavier than my head? Just get rid of all these muscles here."

Resting your head back on his shoulder, you let out a tired sigh.

"Just put up with me for a bit longer," you mumbled. "My head is heavy because I have a lot on my mind."

"Why do you have a lot on your mind?" he asked, watching you with concern and part curiosity. "You're being granted an opportunity to relax. Shouldn't you be liking it? You get to relax and life the life you want. With the people you want."

"I am liking it," you sighed, "it's the liking part that's giving me a headache. The liking part that turns into loving. Because I like it, and I don't think I'm supposed to be."

"What do you know about the chaos in my mind?" you questioned after several moments passed in silence. "You don't know anything."

But he did know.

Steve Rogers did know, and he was liking it as well, far more than he was supposed to.

He couldn't find the words to respond to your question and instead simply sat there in silence as you leaned into him, feeling his heart starting to beat just a bit faster and feeling his face grow just a bit warmer.

While you were more open with your feelings than him, always hugging and high-fiving and being honest with the team, Steve chose to hide that all away, guarding his heart in the hopes that no one would find out how he truly felt.

"I do," he said calmly, "I know a lot more about you than others think. I know you're broken on the inside even though you try to mask this pain and distract yourself from it by making others laugh and making them happy. But deep down, you ache for someone to love you in the same way you wish for them to. I know you're desperately hoping and praying every day that you'll find your fairy-tale ending, a happily ever after. I see all those pained expressions on your face, those looks when you feel as if your heart has snapped in two. It's hard for me not to notice these little things, you know."

"I hate that I like the way this feeling makes my head spin almost to the point that I can't even see straight," you swallowed hard and took in a deep breath, nervously fidgeting with your hands. "I hate that I like the way it makes me feel."

Steve opened his mouth to reply but stopped for a second when he saw your eyes shining with tears that threatened to fall.

He didn't know what to do, seeing you on the verge of tears as you focused on the view in front of you, the blank and dark sky with clouds that shielded the hazy glow of the moon. But it was becoming hard to ignore the very little distance that stood between you two-your shoulders practically pressed up against one another.

He didn't know what to do when his heart started beating at a million miles per hour at the mere thought.

Your words seemed to have some sort of a double meaning and for a moment he wondered what you could've meant by the feeling you described. Was it the guilt of getting too attached, or was it that he was just falling for someone?

Whether either one of those thoughts were right or wrong, he knew one thing for sure-something that his gut was telling him. Whatever he was feeling as well was exactly what you'd just mentioned previously: the exhilarating and terrifying feeling of falling in love.


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