Phantom Pain (trilogy)

Forgive Me Father

Chapter 10: Forgive Me Father

The first thing I noticed was the smell, like old wood.

The second was the warm, human light of the body on the other side of the screen.

“Hello child,” said the priest.

He sounded young, definitely not as high ranking as the one Dez was currently talking with.

“Forgive me Father, for I have sinned-” I stopped myself, choked by the irony.

The man in the other cubical did not know that I was not speaking to him.

“Go on,” he prompted. “This is not the place of judgement.”

“If you knew what I had done, you would not want to speak to me.” My head rested against the wall.

“God forgives all of his children. It is not my place to judge.”

His words bothered me for some reason. He had no right to take the comfort religion brought, having never fought for it himself.

“What if Lucifer himself sat where I am sitting? Would you listen to his confession, absolve him of his sins?” I knew I shouldn't be taking my frustration out on this poor man, but I couldn't help myself.

There was a long pause. “I hope to never meet the devil, but I believe that if he bowed down in front of God and asked for forgiveness, it would be granted, to some degree.”

I was speechless. The words of the human had shaken me to the core. What had we forgotten, in all those years without our father?

The priest continued. “But if what I have read from scripture is to be believed, then it is his inability to admit fault that is the fundamental rout of his evil. You've come to talk to me, haven't you?”

For some reason I was unable to express the true extend to which his words had effected me, and my answer came out bitter.

“How do you know I'm sincere, in coming here? How do you know I'm not the devil?”

There was a long pause. “Are you?”

“Not yet.”

I had not come into this wishing to scare the priest, but had done so out of an obligation I felt to my predicament. In the process I had frightened myself, because I was halfway there, still falling.

“I have a theological question for you,” I said.

“Go on.” He was guarded now, I could sense it.

“How many humans would you sacrifice to bring an angel back to life?” Even though I knew the priest could not see me, I leaned forwards towards the screen, hands on my legs.