Carlisle's Diary

It's All My Fault (Nessie's POV)

"A veil? Like a veil over your thoughts?" Rogue spoke for the first time; her eyes narrowing.

"Yes exactly like that." I said to her.

"Amy, Alexander, come with me. We'll be in our attic if you need us. Meanwhile, make sure he doesn't harm himself." She said cryptically before nodding toward the trees where Jacob disappeared into as she and the other two Watchers flew off without another glance.

"Jacob? Jake? Where did he go?" I looked around frantically as did the others.

"I smell smoke." Emmett said narrowing his brows.

        I gasped as I smelled it too and took off in the direction of the smoke as everyone else yelled my name and bolted after me. I ran faster than I had ever run in my life and no one could catch up with me; save for Michelle and Kim who flew above my head keeping an eye on me. Only Keith, Leah, and Sava were left behind. They decided to stay put in case Seth or Corin saw something and decided to call the house. Meanwhile, I finally saw a plume of smoke and fire in the trees and ran even faster toward it. When I neared it, I skidded to a stop as I observed the horror of what was about to happen in front of me.

        A big bonfire was laid out and the flames were roaring, Jacob, my Jacob was wearing nothing but his jeans and his eyes were closed as he stood before the fire. He was chanting something up to his ancestors. In the meantime, the rest of my family had caught up to us and watched him uneasily too. Jacob opened his eyes and it was as if he didn't see us but he knew we were there.

"I have brought great shame upon my people and my family. There is only one way to make restitution for that. The fire will cleanse and purify me and perhaps I may yet meet my mother in heaven."

"No! Jacob! No! Please don't say that! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, it's all my fault please don't leave me! I can't live without you!" I cried as I collapsed to the ground sobbing into the earth. I couldn't lose him! I just couldn't!

"Jacob, this isn't a good idea. Harming yourself won't change what happened. It won't stop time nor reverse it. We have to take what we have, learn from it and be better people because of it. We all care a great deal about you Jacob. Think of what your death will do to your father and sisters. Please, son, don't do it." Grandpa Carlisle said strongly but softly.

            Jacob stood there with tears rolling down his cheeks. I wanted to run up and hug him, but I didn't dare. I had done enough damage. Then just as I thought the last part, with a wild cry, Jacob launched himself into the flames!

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" I screamed.

            He never made it; he was plucked out of the air by my best friend. Michelle took him down and with the help of Kim restrained him. He fought against their hold which was like fighting against solid steal and then finally just collapsed crying in their arms. Everyone had tears in their eyes. Mom ran over to him then and took him in her arms; after all he was her best friend. She rocked him back and forth like she used to do to me when I was a baby. Grandma Esme followed suit. He was surrounded by the women he cared for the most. I crawled close but feared touching him, he however reached out his free hand toward me and I held it lightly. Kim and Michelle had let go by then and just stood by in case he decided on another suicidal leap into the flames; which seemed highly unlikely at this point.

            When his crying finally subsided, Michelle used the power of the wind to blow the flames out before the whole forest caught fire. Really wouldn't want that. My dad then walked up to Jacob as he got up weaving a bit with the help of mom and grandma. Amazingly, considering how angry my dad was not even an hour ago, his face belayed nothing but worry and relief.

"Jacob, I'm sorry I reacted so harshly towards you without getting the whole story first. That was wrong of me. I'm glad you didn't get the chance to harm yourself. I tend to do that a lot or so I've been told." He half smiled at mom who winked at him. He then extended his hand toward Jacob who took it in his own and shook it.

"So what do we do now that that drama is over?" Uncle Emmett asked and got the hairy eyeball from just about everyone.

"Rogue said she was going to her attic and last I recalled that's where she had all of her books on demonology located." Grandpa said.

"You think a demon had something to do with this?" Aunt Rose asked.

"In our world anything is possible." Grandpa sighed and wasn't that the truth?

"In the meantime, we still have a pregnant Nessie. Any ideas/suggestions/thoughts?" Aunt Alice asked rubbing her temples. Everyone had had a sensory overload.

"I have an idea." Jacob spoke up hoarsely for the first time as we all looked at him.

            He disentangled himself from my mom and grandma and came up to me. He helped me off the ground where I was still sitting on my knees. He wiped my tears away with his fingers and held my face in his hands. Then he said something that took my breath away:

"We did this whole thing really backwards, didn't we Nessie?" I nodded.

"Demon or no demon, I want to do things the proper way now....."

"What d-do you mean?" I stammered.

"Marry me, Renesmee." 

Xo Nessie Xo

~Carlisle's Diary