𝐋𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐍𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐒𝐧𝐚𝐜𝐤

𝟐𝟎

I often question me intelligence. I know I'm exceptionally smart, but the decisions I make have me to think other wise. How is it that I know that I'm making a dumb decision, yet I don't think to change it. I believe I may be the only person who does this.

My brain is wired wrong.

What blows me the most is that I overthink the decisions. I could overthink until I have a massive migraine, analyzing each aspect of each choice and I still choose the dumb decision.

Khailil is the best worse thing that has happen to me. I was broken—shit I'm still broken I just conceal it better—lost and alone, but he empowered me. He made me think I was attractive, he made me think I wasn't stupid, he made me think that all the things Storm told me were lies. Now he treats me the same as the devil himself did.

With Khailil now, I feel lost, alone, empty, broken. I'm not happy but my mind is insist on telling me that he's the only one who'll love me; the only one who can put up with my issues and problems. Khailil is the only one who will find me attractive: the scars, bruises, cuts, and scratches only he will love because causes me more on the inside. My heart aches more and more everyday due to him, to Storm, to idiotic decisions, and negative thoughts.

Then came Wizyrd. Wizyrd's like a bird. So care free, above everyone, soaring with positivity and compassion that's ready to be flinched at anyone in the world, yet he chooses me. Why me? I'm damaged goods. No one wants someone like me. Who wants someone with these scars of sorrow and a heart that's dull? Who wants someone that's insecure and emotionless? Nobody, except Khailil. I have convinced myself that the shit he's doing to me is what I deserve. I deserve to be ignored, contemplating whether my partner is messing with other people, questioning whether the love that people say they have for me is real. That's why I told Wizyrd not to wait on me. He'll be waiting as I plummet into a chasmic abyss filled with my pain, my sorrow, my blood, my sweat, my tears. As I watch those who caused me pain tower over me with the looks of ecstasy plastered in their faces.

Wizyrd's too good for and I too fractured for him. Since those days in New York, I was cursed by the Storm to never be able to fully trust anyone, truly be happy, find my inner peace, and the desired sensation of the warmth of my soulmate.

Bliss will only come to those destined for it and my destiny is to always and forever be broken.

•••
𝓿𝓸𝓽𝓮
𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓶𝓮𝓷𝓽
&
𝓮𝓷𝓳𝓸𝔂
𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒂 𝒈𝒍𝒊𝒎𝒑𝒔𝒆 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒐𝒇 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰