Partners in Crime | STAR WARS Rebels

12 | betrayed

Trust.  It was a small word with a big meaning.  Trust was something that I thought we all shared equally in our squad.  I believed that after a couple years I had earned that trust.

And when they looked at me and shook their heads, they weren't saying they didn't trust my friend Castriel.  They were saying they didn't trust me.

I took a deep breath and blocked out the tears.  I had to stay strong.  "If we can show the Empire that Aria Prime is not a place for them, Castriel would reward us, food, fuel, or credits."  I struggled thinking about us keeping an entire planet Empire-free, but that is why I needed their help.  Together we could come up with something.

"Why does Castriel care about Aria Prime so much?" Ezra asked with a haughty look on his face.  He was being incredibly stubborn, as usual.

"It was his home planet, but that is beside the point," I retorted.  "This is what we have been waiting for! How can we let this opportunity pass?"  

"Alright." Hera bit her lower lip.  "So what is the plan?"  

Well, we hadn't exactly gotten that far.  "I am going to meet him in a few days to go over what we can work with."

"Uh-huh." Kanan smiled.  "Ezra can go with you."

"No!" I was irritated with Ezra already.  He would only make things worse.  "Castriel said I have to go alone."

"Yeah right," Hera said.  "There is no way we are letting you go alone.  As much as I wish this was the answer, Sabine, it all sounds too risky to me.  Even if your friend doesn't know it, the Empire could be using him to lure us into a trap."

Zeb and Ezra nodded in agreement.  Since when did we become so quick to give up?

"I believe we can do this," I protested.  "We don't have much fuel or credits left, and we have to help those people!"

I was surprised by Hera's response.  She has always been so determined to help those in need.  She took risks when it was necessary and kept us on our feet.  

I'll never forget when we first met Ezra and he got left behind with the Empire.  I did not believe we could go back and save him.  The Empire would be waiting for us, and at the time Ezra didn't seem worth it.  But Hera was so sure, and we ended up all getting out safely. 

Now I needed her to feel that way again, and she was failing me.

"I'm sorry Sabine, but I don't think we can take this one." Kanan gave me a stern look.  "Don't contact your friend again, I don't think he can be trusted."

He turned without another word and walked outside with Ezra.  Ezra had been grinning because  Castriel was out of the picture, but now he saw the look of defeat on my face.  He looked back to say something, then closed his mouth and followed Kanan through the door.  

I looked at Hera and Zeb.  Hera looked sad.  She walked over and put a hand on my shoulder.  

"I know, I hate it," Hera said.  "No matter how hard we try, we can't save everyone.  Someday, things will be different."

My heart ached.  I wanted to hug Hera and believe her, but I felt so betrayed and ignored.  I stared at a spot on the metal wall, trying not to look her in the eye.

"Hey." Hera gently turned my chin to face her.  "This is for the best, and it has nothing to do with you.  It's just the situation."

But it had everything to do with me.  They weren't trusting me or my judgement.  My ears began buzzing and the room felt smaller.  This was all too much like before.  

I squirmed out of Hera's grasp and ran to the top hatch door.  The hatch opened and a cool breeze washed over me, calming my spirits.  Sitting on the roof of the Ghost, I remembered what it was like when my own family turned on me.  

---

The three people I had relied on my whole life, my mother, father and brother, they rejected me. After I started attending the Imperial Academy on Mandalore, they started acting different.  At first it was just like they were keeping secrets from me, and making vague small talk.  I was confused and hurt, but that was only the beginning.

My instructor had told me I was an exceptional student, and possessed talent that could help my people.  I was assigned to work on a special weapon.  I felt a sense of importance, and I was admired by the other students.  For the first time, Castriel looked at me different than ever before.  I poured my heart and soul into that weapon, making sure every detail was perfect.   The commanding officers had told me that my weapon was going to protect the people of Mandalore, and that I was doing a good thing for my planet.  

I was so young and naive then, but I believed I was a part of something bigger than myself.  And I thought I could change the world.  

My family continued to grow distant, so I relied on my friends at the Academy; Castriel and Ketsu.  I was only days away from completing the weapon when I heard my instructor  and the Commander talking in his office.  I leaned against the door and realized they were going to use the weapon on the Mandalorians.  

That is when I learned the true nature of the Empire.  I felt used and disgusted that I let myself get mixed up in all this.  I vowed never to help them ever again.  

First I ran to Castriel's dorm and told him what was going on.   He barely took me seriously.  I told him I was leaving.  And he wouldn't come with me.  We fought for a while, and then I left. I was so lost and hurt.  I made a quick stop at Ketsu's dorm, and she wasn't there.  I wrote her a  letter including instructions telling how to destroy the monster I created.

Then I ran five miles from the Academy to my house.  I warned my family of what the Empire was about to do.  When they heard it was I who created the weapon, they yelled at me and threw my belongings out into the snow.  I'll never forget the strict look on my mother's face that left me crying for days.  

You are no daughter of mine.  You have betrayed Mandalore. 

Betrayal.  First by the Empire, and now by my own family.  I tried to tell them it wasn't my fault, and that I thought I was protecting Mandalore, but no one listened to me.  

How could I convince them I wasn't to blame, when I didn't even believe it myself?  With my own two hands, I had crafted the destruction of my own people. The guilt was the heaviest thing I carried around that night.  Word of my creation had spread now, and all of Clan Wren was against me.  The family and friends I had grown up with looked at me like a dirty criminal.  Not one of them listened to what I had to say.  I had failed them, but they showed me no mercy.  

A couple days later, Ketsu found me and listened to my side of the story.  Ketsu assured me that she had put a wrench in the weapons' system and that everything would be okay.  She became like a sister to me and we set off to become the best pair of bounty hunters the outer rim had ever seen. 

But that first night after I left the Academy, I slept under a tree in the middle of a lonely field. I was a lost traveler, with no where to go.

---

That was how I felt now.  I had practically begged my crew to give me a chance, and they neglected me.

I looked down at Kanan teaching Ezra lightsaber forms.  The dark feeling of jealousy crept in again.  Kanan loved Ezra.  Kanan trusted Ezra.  If this mission was Ezra's idea, we all would have leapt to our feet.  There would already be a plan in place.  

But now we were stuck.  Defenseless, and without purpose.  We couldn't even save those who needed saving.  

"Don't let your guard down, Ezra," Kanan said.  "Trust in the Force.  Let it guide you."

Trust.

Maybe I could prove to the rest of the crew they could trust me.  Maybe I had chosen the wrong time to involve them.  Maybe I could start this mission on my own, and we could finish it together.  

And look at that, I already had a plan.