ꜱᴛᴀʀꜱ 𝐹𝒶𝓁𝓁 ↠ ᴏʀʙɪᴛɪɴɢ ᴇᴀʀᴛʜ [1]

☆ꜱɪx

Six - Follow Me, Unless You Are Scared

On the way back, I don't talk to anyone else. And it's not because I feel for the boy, it is that I feel for Mama. Part of my training with Lexa was to block out emotion. To not feel. Hodnes laik kwelnes. Love is weakness. To be able to survive, you cannot be weak. But alas, here we are. Feeling emotion. Pain. Love. Weakness.

The only thing that can take my mind off of this constant struggle is silence. But here in camp, there is none. When we return to camp, Octavia sees Atom, screaming at her brother about how it was all his fault and then taking her leave. Even Murphy didn't get the vibe that right now, none of us wanted to be messed with. It just wasn't a good time. 

"Lose anyone here?" Bellamy asks, still frustrated from his chat with Octavia. 

"No" Murphy assured him. "Jasper?" Bellamy questions, collecting my attention. There was something about Jasper. I got almost a maternal instinct to protect him. There was no logic behind it. He is the enemy, and yet, I had an urge to protect him. To save him. 

"Still breathing. Barely. I tried to take him out, but your psycho little sister-" Murphy starts but Bellamy interrupts, grabbing him by the collar of his jacket, lifting him up slightly from the ground. "My what? My what?" Bellamy fumes. I have never seen this side to Bellamy and it gives me a sense of pride that I know he could protect himself. But at the same time, it frightens me. 

"Your little sister" Murphy breathes out. Bellamy edges his face closer to Murphy's, anger rolling off him in waves, "Yeah, that's right. My little sister. Got anything else you want to say about her?" Murphy shakes his head, 'no' and Bellamy releases him, turning to a boy behind him, "Get Atom out of here." 

The crowd that was watching the whole scene unfold, hurries away, not wanting to suffer the wrath of Bellamy Blake. Following suit I head to the drop ship, but instantly regret it when I see Octavia crying to Clarke on the top level of the drop ship. 

"I'm really sorry about Atom" Clarke tries, causing me to scoff inward. Doesn't she know, it doesn't matter how sorry you are, it can't change the fact that the people we love are dead. 

Octavia sighs, looking down at the floor, "I guess we're gonna have to get used to people dying down here, aren't we?" But then she turn to Jasper, speaking to him, "But not you. You hear me? You're not allowed to die." Emotion. It is all too much for me right now. The sadness, the hope, the love. I can't feel. I can't. Love is weakness. 

 Leaving the ship, I start to make my way through camp until I stumble into a hard surface. "Oof!" I trip over my own feet slipping towards the ground, but sturdy arms catch me. Releasing a breath of relief, I meet the eyes of my savior. Bellamy Blake. Not the face I want to see right now. I pull myself from his grasp, rubbing the back of my neck, muttering a "Thank you" before trying to rush off. But of course, he doesn't let me go that easily.