Save me Romeo (bxb)

Chapter 26 - Fear

Waking up to two strong arms wrapped around you and a tall male spooning you from behind was never something I thought would make me this happy. After Romeo had comforted me a little, without using words in particular, just by caressing my cheek and holding me, we laid down on my bed and fell asleep almost immediately, not without locking the door first of course. I slowly opened my eyes, allowing the bright sunlight to fill me with a kind of heavenly feeling. 

I turned my head to look at the sleeping boy, that still had his arm protectively wrapped around me. He really was beautiful. I could have looked at him all day. He just looked so peaceful, sleeping like this, curled up against me with his hair falling onto his face. He was still wearing the clothes he wore, when he came here the evening before, except for his leather jacket, that was neatly placed on a chair next to my desk. It was probably really uncomfortable to sleep in jeans, but apparently this boy would do anything for me. And I would do the same.

Carefully, trying not to wake him up, I threw my arm around him, pulling him closer so the painful gap between us was finally closed. He immediately responded by snuggling into my chest a soft grunt coming from him as if he needed this just as much as I did. His one hand softly stroke over my side, while his breathing indicated, that he was slowly waking up. I carefully placed a soft kiss on the top of his head, while running my fingers over the smooth skin of his bicep. The moment was so beautiful, that I actually thought for a second, I had died last night and ended up in heaven, because it definitely felt too good to be true. But I wasn't straight so... yeah, no heaven for me. Ah well hell seems so much more appealing. The bright sunlight tingling my skin, Romeo wrapped in my arms, everything seemed perfect.

And then I remembered everything.

I remembered the pictures, I remembered the incident and I remembered the text, oh god that fucking text. I remembered, why Romeo was actually here and suddenly, anxiety made an appearance in that peaceful scenery. Suddenly, my heaven became a lot darker. Why couldn't I just be happy? Why the fuck did my past have to ruin this beautiful moment right now? It just wasn't fair! After all the shit I went through, wasn't it my time to be at least ok again?

I glanced out of the window, without moving an inch, paranoid of seeing that evil and sick smirk on the other side, waiting to ruin my life again. I was scared out of my mind, even when I didn't find that asshole sitting in front of my window, stalking me or shit. My heart started to pound like crazy and it took everything in me, to stop my body from reacting to the fear, by shaking like a deer facing the gun of a hunter. I didn't want to disturb Romeo, even though he would probably urge me to always wake him, when I was feeling like this. But he had already abandoned his family yesterday, just to be by my side, the least I could do, was to let him sleep.

I faced the ceiling and tried to steady my breaths. Don't think about it, just don't think about it! When I finally had my breathing under control, I focused on the fear again, that had spread through my entire body. I used to be somebody who wouldn't easily get frightened. Horror Films used to be one of my favorite genres, me and Cody started to go on rollercoasters and Haunted houses way too young and loved it, I didn't have any big fears like Clowns or heights and I wasn't afraid to fight a dude, even if he was bigger than me. It seemed like nothing could actually scare me. Until the incident, of course. 

Concentrating on my breathing and on my body, I didn't move one bit anymore, just so Romeo wouldn't notice. You have no idea how hard it is to be deadly afraid, but you are not allowed to show it in any way, shape or form, to not hurt the people close to you. My body wanted to react to the unbelievable amount of fear, that had consumed me and it took all my strength, to not let it show. I don't know, how long I starred at the ceiling, focussing on my breathing and my body, when suddenly, a deep groan came from the boy laying on my chest. He sat up and looked, with still very sleepy eyes, at me.