Companionate (18+) | Completed ✔️

Chapter 19: He was my person

And my mum well, being a CFO's wife she never really had much time for me, she spent her days as a world renowned socialite who jetted off anytime she could. The only times they took an interest in me was when there was a social event where they got to talk to me up to their rich friends about how well I was doing in school and how I would be perfect for their sons."

I sighed as I got up and walked over to the window, looking out to the night sky and cradling my body with my arms. "I was 11 when they started talking to their friends about being a perfect match for this sons and I didn't get it at the time but I told Clarise about it and that was just before they told me that I had to stop going over there and I was old enough to take care of myself while they were gone." She's a bad influence I recall my father saying to my mother.

I felt Tobias' arms around me bring me back to him, and I was so glad I did because that place I hold all of those memories was a dangerous place. He places a kiss on my shoulder before I lean back onto his toned chest "Hey, you don't have to go on if you don't want to."

I sighed once more "No, I - I want to. It's time I talk about it. When I was around 15, my mum started day drinking a lot more than usual. It wasn't her usual champagne, the drinks grew harder as the days went on and I wasn't allowed to see Clarise at all at this point. I couldn't be around my mum when she drunk like that because she would say all of these horrible things to me about my weight, my body, my looks -"

I blinked away the tears as I heard my mothers slurred words in my mind causing my hands to shake "You know, no man will ever love you if you don't lose weight."

"Your father and I work so damn hard and you can't even put some makeup on to hide those ugly scars on your face when you are out with us."

"Monroe stop pulling up your tops. You need to show off your cleavage to disguise that tire around your waist."

I felt the bile build in my throat "- so for some reason I went to the only other person who I thought should care about me. I went to my father at his work and that's when I first found him fucking his personal assistant." I stopped because I couldn't help the tears fall from my eyes.

I felt Tobias spin me around and pull me into his loving arms allowing me to cry into his chest. "Shhh baby it's okay. I got you." He leaned his chin on top of my head as he held onto my fragile body. "She - she stayed with him. And look at me - I - I'm just like her. I -" I cried and cried into his body as he stroked my hair just listening to me. When I finally stopped crying, he pulled me back over to the sofa, wiping my tears with the pads of his thumbs.

"You don't have to do this. Baby, stop. I can see this is too hard for you and it's so hard for me to watch you break down like this." He held onto my hands as I nodded my head finally breathing again. "I'm sorry. No-one knows any of this, not even my aunt. I just need to tell you a little more, please?" He nodded at me allowing me to go on.

"When I told her she hit me and she told me to never mention it again. She told me that she was lucky a man like my father even looked her way and she wouldn't give up on this lifestyle for a string of affairs. I will never forget what she said, when a man offers to take care of you financially, you take it and accept whatever comes with it."

I looked down at my hands that were staking uncontrollably. He gave me a small smile before pulling both of my hands to his lips and placing a kiss on each of them, then on the palms of my hands and the tips of every finger as if his kisses were healing me. And in a way they were, his compassion and care for me was pulling me in and I knew I couldn't get out even if I wanted to.

I threw my arms around his neck holding onto him like he was my lifeline. I buried my face in the crook of his neck as I took in his scent, his arms went around my body holding me together in this moment because he knew I needed it. We pulled away from each other before he gulped and finally announced "My mother died giving birth to me."

My heart broke and my body sunk as I heard the words leave his lips, his eyes that were previously shining like diamonds were now glazed over as the tears pooled his eyes. "Yeah, my dad told me a few years ago that she physically couldn't carry a baby full term but when she found out she was pregnant she said she refused to abort me."

He looked down quickly swiping his unshed tears with the back of his hand before clearing his throat. "My big brother was 6 when she passed. We don't - we don't have a close relationship because he still blames me for her death. My dad used to too, sometimes he still does..." his words trailed off and I couldn't stop myself from pulling his body into mine as I wrapped my arms around him. "I am so so sorry Tobias. You don't have to keep going, I can't even imagine -"

I shook my head trying to find the words to say, I wasn't him I didn't know the exact words to say at every given moment. "It's okay. You don't have to be sorry -" his voice was soft but so full of pain. "You aren't to blame, you know that right?" I said lifting his head up to look at me.

"You were just an innocent baby that was made out of love. It wasn't your fault okay?" He kissed the palm of my hand before speaking "My dad says that one his worst days it's too hard to look at me because I look exactly like her. My brother can't be around me for long for that exact reason, I know they love me but that blame will never leave and I will always have to live with the guilt. But -"

He takes his wallet out of his coat pocket and pulls out an old photo of a beautiful brown skinned woman with flawless skin and her hair a beautiful mess but she was all smiles looking down at the precious little baby boy in her arms laying on her chest. "This was taken right before she started haemorrhaging. It's a copy of the original my dad gave me. This one picture is all I have of her, I never even heard her voice."

"And that's the real reason why you take pictures?" He smiled and slowly nodded his head "My dad stored all of her pictures because neither of them could handle looking at her pictures around the house when I was growing up so I never got to see her until he gave me this." He looked down at the picture with a smile. "It may not be my dream but it makes me feel closer to her."

"Tobias, I think she'd be so proud of you." I give him a small smile before giving him a gentle kiss on the side of his mouth. "I hope she's looking down on me proud of who I've become."

I stand up and put my hand out to him which he takes with a smile and stands with me. "It's been a long night. I don't want you driving back this late and this emotional, stay the night." I was supposed to say it as a question but it came out as a statement.

"It's funny that you assumed I was leaving." There he was, back with his playfulness, with a devious smirk on his face, before we head to our bedroom for the night. He strips off until he's only in his boxers, crawls into bed with me as we instantly gravitate towards each other and I find myself within his hold. As I lay my head on his chest and listen to his heart, I feel so much closer to him, we had both opened up about things we have never told anyone and it felt good to finally let it out.

He was my person and I was his, we had broken down the barriers of our guarded hearts and let one another in. I looked up to find Tobias already breathing heavy and his lids closed, I knew he was exhausted physically and emotionally after today, so I expected him to fall asleep soon.

I took a minute to just look at him and commit everything he is to memory so I would never forget it. I placed a chaste kiss on his bare chest and with a hushed tone I said "I can definitely see myself falling in love with you."