pick up the phone

30

I hate being forced to read the bible

In the bathroom I brush my teeth thoroughly. After Oliver got me a fake ID we got wasted and I dont even remember last night. But I think it was fun?

I know we ended up back home and from the pain in my ass and how we woke up naked its pretty clear what happened. We threw up like idiots early this morning and this is the third time I'm brushing my teeth.

Oliver walks into the bathroom and looks surprised to see me. "Oh I thought you were downstairs," he yawns and picks up a hair brush. My hairbrush but I dont care if he uses it.

For a moment we just fix ourselves. Talking makes me have a headache and I'm pretty sure it's the same for him because we have been just cuddling and had a pretty quiet afternoon/morning.

Sex with Oliver is amazing and I'm so happy that he hasn't forced himself on me. That's my biggest fear, to me forced into sex. Rape is scary. Yesterday before we got wasted Oli talked to me more about his kink.

I'm pretty sure it wont be a problem because be said that he doesn't want me to ever truly be scared. He let me know that the video made him really upset and he doesn't want to ever see me with that kind of fear.

He made it really clear that if he goes to far to say the safe word. He likes to silently sneak up on me and grab my shoulders or hips to make me jump and squeal in fear. I'm okay with that kind of fear and to my understanding that's what he likes the most.

Oli likes to walk into the bathroom whenever I'm showering or taking a bath. He's always so respectful when he does so. We just talk and he always washes my hair. He says it relaxes him and that makes me happy because I like having him wash me.

We have a really stong connection. I love finding out new things about him and he seems to enjoy hearing me talk. We have all kinds of conversations, mainly about things that happen through the day or in a movie we have seen.

I still don't talk about my parents or my childhood but it hasn't really came up. If I get a chance I might open up about it but I'm not going to bring it up first.

I take the toothbrush out of my mouth so I can spit but as I do this Oliver slaps my ass. I swallow and jump a little.  "Asshole, you just made me swallow!" I say kind of upset.

"Aren't you supposed to swallow the white liquid? Because spitters are quitters," he says with a smirk. My face heats up.

"Oli," I whine.

"I'm just messing with you, love," he says and kisses my forehead.

I pout for a second but then rinse my mouth with mouth wash. Oli looks at my ass and I get the feeling he's going to smack it again so I spit out the mouth wash before me makes me swallow that too.

Oli rolls his eyes at me for seeing through his plans. "Love?" He says grabbing my hips and pulling me closer.

"Yeah?" I say as we look each other in the eyes. It looks like he's going to tell me something important.

"I just wanted you to know..." he stops and kisses my lips for a moment. He pulls away and brushes some of my hair away from my eyes.

He smiles but then goes serious again. He's trying to contain his news. I smile and try not to jump to conclusions. Is he going to tell me something flattering? Happy? Interesting?

That he loves me...?

"Baby... I want you to know...  I shit myself on stage once," he says and I burst into a fit of giggles.

His serious face turns into a goofy grin and I hug him. He's so silly. "I was on ecstasy and yup.. it was so embarrassing but nobody knew until after the show," he says and I giggle more.

"Did you learn your lesson?" I say and he nods.

"So I was thinking.. do you want to go to the movies with me Friday?" He asks and I blush. I know we live together and I'm not a 13 year old but going on dates with him got me all giddy and I love it.

"Yeah, I'd love too," I say and smile at him.

"Fuck, you're so adorable," he says and I giggle for the hundredth time. He makes me feel so alive. I look at my pocket knife that's on the counter and smile. I'm so glad I didn't just a few weeks ago. Even though that video exists doesn't mean I cant be happy..

Right?

I times I do still feel dirty and like it's my fault but hurting myself won't help anything. "I was going to cut myself that day Copeland died," I mumble and look at Oliver.

Why did I just tell him that?

He looks at the pocket knife I was looking and and grabs it. He puts it in his pocket and then pulls me into a hug.

"I'm happy you didn't. Please dont ever hurt yourself, talk to me if you ever get those thoughts again. Okay love?" He says and I hug back.

"I will, I trust you," I say and close my eyes as we hug. I could hug him forever if he would let me. I wonder how long he'll allow me to cling to him?

Almost five minutes pass before he makes any signs of letting go. "I'm never letting go," I say and he chuckles.

"Good," he says and picks me up. I cling to him like a koala and he goes down stairs. The whole time he cooks I hold onto him and even as we eat.

Hours pass and I'm still holding onto him as we watch movies. He gets up but I dont detach my arms so he picks me up again.  We go upstairs and then he stops at the bathroom door.

"Your times up," he informs me. I pout and get off of him slowly.

"Fine, but it will resume," I say and go to my room as he goes into the bathroom. I thought he would make me get off of him sooner.

I smile to myself and think of how amazing Oli is. To bad next chapter is going to be stressful. I frown, why did I just think that? I'm not reading any books..?