pick up the phone

12

After my show I start looking for Oliver.  I saw him before he preform but I didn't get to watch his show because I was practicing and getting ready from my own show.

Now both of us are done so I would like to ask how he did. This was his first time preforming drown so I do have a good reason to see how he did. After looking a bunch of places I end up finding Jordan.

Oli is usually with Jordan after shows. "Hey, where's Oli?" I ask approaching him.

"He's upset, I wouldn't talk to him if I were you," he says looking stressed. I frown and look around a bit.

"Why is he upset? Where is he?" I say feeling like now I really like should go see him.

"I'm not sure, he's probably outside," he says and I leave and go out the exit. I walk around the side of the brick building and towards the back. It's dark and cold out here.

Oliver is sitting behind the building in dirt. His knees are up but not together lole how I usually sit if I'm stressed. I slowly walk up to him and sit next to him. I know he sees me but he hasn't looked at me or made any indication that he heard me come up.

He looks like he was crying..

I gently lean my head on his shoulder and he sighs but doesn't push me away or breaks the silence. After ten minutes of silence and no movements except for  the things around us he speaks up.

"I had an anxiety attack on stage," he says and I turn my face to his shoulder and kiss it. His knees are still up and his arms are resting on his knees but I crawl into that space are get comfortable on him.

My legs are still cold but my body against his makes me feel warmer. "Do you know why?" I ask softly and he looks down at me.

"Not exactly, it just happens some times and this was the first time I preformed the bloody song," he says and I hug him, well the best that I can do giving my position. He smiles faintly.

"Thanks," he says and we sit like this for a while. I'm freezing but I'm just pretending not to be. I love being this close to him. If we got up then we would separate and I don't want that.

"So when we get back to California you'll stay the night and in the morning we can go get your stuff and then bam, you live with me," he says and starts playing with my hoodie string.

I smile and look up at him.  "Yeah, if you still want me," I say and blush because it sounded dirty in my mind.

"Trust me, I want you," he says and his hand goes to my thoat. He's not choking me but it's in the position. I blush heavily but don't push him away. Its comfortable..?

His hand is warm so it feels nice on my cold skin. "You're warm," I say in almost a whisper. Usually I would freak out if someone put their hand on my thoat. My relationship with vic ruined choking for me and when I thought maybe I wouldn't get hurt like that again Ronnie reinstalled that fear.

When I think I'm calm and okay his grip get just a little tighter and instinctively I grab his hand. I do trust him but not breathing is a big fear of mine. "Don't- I'm, I've had bad experiences with hands on my thoat.. I dont mind you touching me but don't squeeze," I say and he takes his hand away from my neck and starts playing with my hair.

"Oh remember-" Oliver starts talking but Jordan opens a door that's beside us. He looks at us and smiles.

"We are going to the bus, you should come," he tells Oli and I get off of him. We stand and Oli nods.

"Okay, I'll be there in a second," he says and Jordan leaves.

Oli turns to me and hugs me. I'm surprised but hug him back. "I'll see you later. Thanks for cheering me up," he says and I smile and nod a little. I'm not sure what to say but it's okay because he leaves not seeming to think it's weird or bad I didn't say anything.