Fated

Ch. 39 (Zain's POV)

Life is so unpredictable, just when you think it can't get any worse it does and when you get too close to giving up, it brings a sudden ray of light that changes the course of your life. In my life that ray of light was Maya. I never realized exactly when I turned so bitter, I started hating everything, I started blaming myself for things that were out of my control, I started fighting with people who cared for me especially my family and more so I started having negative thoughts. Thoughts that were so messed up that they took me to such a dark place that I started to wonder if it was going to get better for me. Sometimes no amount of success or crowd that follows you or fame can't give you what that only one special person can, that someone who can accept your flaws, your messy thoughts, your ugly parts, your bad history, and your nightmare and can still love you. It is true, no matter who you are what you do, how big or small you are, how far or behind in life you are, we all need love. It is the only power that can really save us.

Last night was one for the books. It was when Maya and I became one but not just physically, soulfully as well. I shared a part of me that I never talked about with anyone else. When I failed to explain some things from my past and why I did things the way I did, I gave her my most private possession. I gave her my therapy notes that I got from my therapist. Those notes had everything in it from start to end. From the moment I lost my friend and my brother-in-law to my sister's breaking point to my father's health condition to my business to my negative thoughts, my hatred, my angst, my unhappiness, my feelings towards Maya and how it changed...it had everything. The moment I gave her the notes, I knew that some of the things in them were so disturbing that she might not look at me the same way but if I wanted her to fully trust me I knew I had to give this to her. If I couldn't show my whole self to my wife then what was the point?

I was thinking about everything that had happened last night when I heard light footsteps coming from behind making small creaking noise on the wooden floor. I wanted to turn around to look at her but decided to stay still to let her try to scare me. As soon I felt her warm hand on my shoulder, I grabbed it and pulled her towards me, making her sit on my lap. She laughed. That free open laugh that was still new to me but I couldn't wait to get used to. Her eyes settled on my face as she looked at me lovingly and if there ever comes a time when it's my turn to say goodbye to this world this is how I would want to go.

'I love when you laugh like that' I said to her as her laugh settled down into a soft smile.

'Why didn't you wake me up?' She asked me as she secured her arms around my neck.

'You were sleeping so peacefully I didn't want to ruin it by waking you up and I really didn't fell asleep last night' I told her and she looked at me waiting to explain myself.

'I was too happy, I thought I'll miss something if I fall asleep' I said to her, brushing her long beautiful hair away from her face.

'So what did you do when I fell asleep?' She asked me but something told me that she knew the answer to that question.

'I think you know' I admitted shyly, catching her eyes.

'Were you looking at me?' She asked timidly.

'No...I was admiring' I replied knowing that it was probably going to turn her cheeks red and I was right. I never thought what I say or do was going to have such an effect on someone.

'You are such a...' She started but stopped as soon as I pulled her closer towards me, our faces just a few inches away from each other. She smelled like roses and a hint of jasmine. Everything about her was so intoxicating.

'I am what?' I teased her, my eyes drifting from her beautiful brown eyes to her full rose-shaped lips. I could still feel the way her skin felt under my skin where I touched her. I was a lucky man there was no doubt about it.