The Horrors Of Which My Past Has Haunted Me (Darkiplier/Damien x Reader)

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"S-so I shattered the mirror?" I whisper out, looking over my cut arms with shock. My face is practically blank, my eyes wide and confused. How was I supposed to accept this information?

"You did." Mark sits on the bed with me, his face gentle and almost kind. His coat jacket was now laid out next to him, it having small tears on the sleeves, along with specks of blood. In his hands he holds a first aid kit, it popping open with the push of his fingers. He digs through it for a moment, finally pulling out some alcohol and a cotton pad, along with some tweezers. He then takes one of my arms into his lap. "You also shoved me against a wall."

He pulls my arm out, spreading it out and using a cotton swab that's coated in alcohol to gently start cleaning my fresh wounds. I hiss in pain, my arm twisting a bit as I feel them burn in pain. "I-I'm sorry Mark." I whimper out.

He smiles a bit, though for some reason it leaves a worried feeling in the bottom of my stomach. He takes my hand in his with a small chuckle. "It's quite alright, (y/n). You don't have to worry! This may just be a good thing."

"A good thing?!" I say audaciously, my eyes glued to his as I tilt my head a bit. "I could have hurt you! I don't know what this is or how to control it and it's just a good thing to you?"

"It's a good thing for when we learn to harness it" he smiles and pulls my other arm, beginning to clean the cuts gently. "Especially if you want to protect yourself from him."

Oh, right. Damien.

Well, I guess that's not correct.

I don't know who that person is.

"Mark..." I almost whisper, my voice falling quiet. My heart is broken, as if the person I loved is truly dead. Maybe I was mistaken, it wasn't Damien at all but someone or something else entirely. But then again he recognized me. He knew it was me and recognized his own name. "Why was he like that?"

Mark pauses for a moment and looks up to me, and for a split second I see something I hadn't seen before flash behind his eyes. Remorse.

But as fast as it's there, it's gone. His hands go back to bandaging mine "I don't know, (y/n). It's just how he is now. You've got to accept that Damien is gone now. He's turned into something much more...sinister. Who he was is just not there anymore."

"that can't be true." I mumble, my eyes glaring to the floor. Mark sighs shortly, his annoyance growing a bit.

"It is true, whether you like it or not." He snaps back a bit roughly, looking regretful directly afterwards. His eyes go wide as they meet with mine, his mouth quickly opening to let out an apology. I don't give him the chance.

"Mark, Look from my point of view for a moment, will you?" I seethe out softly, my eyes narrowing. I pull my hand away from his and stand, feeling regretful that I felt sorry earlier. "The man I was meant to marry is now evil. The man I loved was stolen from me and I have no clue why. He told me it was you who did this. But you tell me that isn't true. You tell me I should only trust you." I see his shoulders tense slightly.

I stand, stepping away from him with my arms tightly crossed. "Do you even realize how much trust I am putting into your hands? How I feel about losing everything dear to me and then losing all control of my life?" Marks eyes stay pointed down, but his body looks rigid with how tense it is.

"How am I supposed to just go along with whatever you say? How is any of this fair to me?" It's like something snaps as his body shoots up, the room glowing red as he does. His eyes meet mine, filled with anger as it feels like he stares into my soul.

"I'll tell you what's not fair, (Y/n)." His voice drips out like poison, stepping towards me slowly and painfully. "What's not fair is being betrayed by everyone you love." He approaches slowly, each tense step pushing me a step back in the same motion. This continues until my back hits the wall.

"What's not fair is your wife destroying your career after you give her everything." He now is so close, I feel like a scalding heat radiates off of him. My head turns to the side slightly, my eyes squeezing closed as I feel his hands rest on either side of my head.

"What's not fair is the only woman you've ever truly adored being so god damn infatuated with your best friend that she won't even give you the chance. Even after he's dead and gone, she still persists to think he's still there." It feels like he's whispering in my ear, his warm breath burning down my neck as he does. My eyes squeeze closed, the feeling of the room making it hard to fight the urge to cry.

If whatever powers I had still were working, why weren't they saving me now. 

How useless am I?

"Maybe I was wrong, (Y/n). Maybe you don't need me. Maybe you should be left all alone to figure out your own problems, left alone for him to just up and take you because he's somehow still the Damien you once knew." His words fall out of his mouth like toxins burning into my veins. My eyes quickly snap open, looking to him as he turns away passively.

Alone?

"M-Mark, please do-"

"No no, I understand." He turns away and steps off from me, refusing to make eye contact with me. "I can just leave you be. Return you to your normal life and let you suffer the risk on your own." The room starts to fall to a cool blue, it almost mixing to a troubling shade of purple as the colors fill in from him.

On my own?

I quickly run up, grabbing his shoulders, turning him to me desperately with tears springing out of my eyes in a panic. "Mark, please stop. I'm sorry for doubting you! I trust you. Please don't leave me alone Mark, please." I grip on to his shirt tightly, the room fading to a cool blue. His eyes look into mine analytically, as if scanning over what's going on within my head.

"Will you ever distrust me again?" He mumbles out.

"Never."

"Okay." He sighs softly, his eyes closing gently as he seems to process his own words. His words fall out of his mouth gently, as if to lull me into security. "And you'll do as I say?"

"Yes Mark, I will."

"Then here are some new rules." He opens his brown eyes again, now staring into my (e/c) ones with a sense of control. I cower slightly but keep the contact, my hands pressed into his chest. "You will do as I say and trust what I say. If you do not, you will be punished. Also, you will be moving into my room rather than having your own."

"Okay, Mark, okay. I'll do whatever you like. Please...just don't leave me." I hug him tightly, my arms holding him as if he'd disappear if I didn't. "It hurts to be alone. I can't take it."

All is still for a moment, standing in an unreciprocated hug with Mark. But slowly, he lifts his arms up, placing them around me warmly. My tears stain his white button up shirt as he pulls me in even tighter. He places his head on the top of mine gently.

"Okay. I won't leave you." Mark reassures, his voice kinder and warmer than it was before. The blue hue fades around us, leaving a plain room once more. I look up at him with weak reassurance, seeing his eyes meet mine. He lifts his hands up and wipes the tears away gently, leaning slightly and pressing his lips gently to my forehead. My face turns a lights red and I softly close my eyes.

I'm so exhausted.

"Don't worry so much, my love. Just have faith in me."