The fear that had been hanging on to me this whole time without me even realizing it, has come true. Brendon blamed me for his death. Not overtly. But still. He'd made it clear it was partially because I stopped playing games with him.
I try to look that fear in the eye and accept it. It happened. He said it was my fault. What can I do about it? Why should it affect me now? I can't go back in time. Even if I could, I might not be able to change anything. No rational person would blame me for growing up and changing hobbies. Even Brendon wouldn't admit he was blaming me. But he did.
I can't get over it. I keep hearing the words from his note inside my head, over and over again. My head is screaming his name. I wish I could scream in real life, but I can't. Even if no one would hear I can't; I'm compelled too strongly to hold it inside, but that scream I want to scream, the words of the note, they're ricocheting off my ribs and bouncing around and tearing me apart inside. I can't do anything to stop it.
I just have to survive it.
YOU ARE READING
Always on Your Side (NaNoWriMo 2019)
Teen FictionFresh into her last semester of high school, Len is looking forward to three things: spending time with her recent close-friend-turned-girlfriend, completing a summer road trip with her brother Brendon, and finally, getting the hell out of her homet...
