Always on Your Side (NaNoWriMo 2019)

18.

I have a confession: my favorite animal is a butterfly. At the age when other little boys pretended to be sharks and dinosaurs, I wrapped myself in blankets for hours, hoping to sprout wings and fly away.

For whatever reason, my culture expects boys to idealize destruction. Sharks, dinosaurs, and ferocious robots are branded as "cool." Boys emulate them. They act the part of supervillains, blasting cities and destroying buildings. They kick down snowmen made by other children. This is seen as normal, and yet, when those boys grow up and they target other boys instead of artificial creations, parents don't see what led to it. I don't understand why my mother encouraged this seed of destruction in me. Why she seemed almost disappointed that it was not present. I can only assume that it is some residual bit of sociology, originally derived from the days when men had to be barbaric in order to provide food for their own families and offspring, and now metamorphosed from instinct into cultural ideal.

I do not get any pleasure from destruction. I like to create. I like art. I like beauty. I like freedom.

I like butterflies.