The Girl in the Shadows

Chapter 8

Friday

October 18, 2019

I pace around the small science lab as I wait for Steven to get here. After talking to him Wednesday night, we'd decided that he should face his problems head on rather than running away from them. I know this hadn't been an easy decision for him and I felt proud that he'd made it.

As I wait, my thoughts drift to yesterday and how I'd been in here for an hour talking with Seth about our project for class. After the initial awkwardness and me uttering his name aloud on accident, I enjoyed myself. So much so that I'm even looking forward to the one we have planned after school today. The mere thought has excitement and nerves rushing through my veins.

How should I greet him later?

Ever since yesterday I've been unable to call him anything but Seth. It's not as if it's a bad thing, considering it's his name, it just feels unnatural.

But it also feels good.

The door to the science lab swings open, then, pulling me from my thoughts and Steven hurries in. I smile at my childhood friend and wave shoving all to do with Seth from my mind. Right now, Steven needs me. Thar's why I'm here, not to contemplate the schools most bullied. "Hey, glad you found the room."

"Yeah, so am I." He smiles. "Thanks for being here."

I look up at Steven and wrap my arm around his waist, pulling him into a side hug as both our gazes fall on the door he'd just walked through. I give my head a quick shake and squeeze his waist for reassurance. "I've always got your back, Steve." And it's true. There's no way I'd leave him to fend for himself when I know he needs me.

***
Friday Afternoon

"Seth." I call his name but he doesn't stop. "Seth." I try again, still no response. "Seth stop pulling me!" I hiss and yank my wrist from his grasp. Moments ago I'd been standing in the science lab giving my childhood friend all the emotional support I could possibly send his way and now I'm being led through the hallways to who knows where by my project partner.

No one's here, right?

I question, my eyes darting around the empty hallway. It's currently lunch so everyone should be in the cafeteria. Seth sighs, drawing my attention back to him and I blush, embarrassed at having been caught.

"Don't worry buttercup. No one's here. Trust me a little, will you?"

"Sorry." I whisper, reaching up to pull on my lobe. "I didn't mean-"

But you did.

I cut myself off and flinch. Seth just tosses me a lopsided smile and shrugs his sign saying that it doesn't bother him. Somehow, it only makes me feel worse. "So, why did you pull me away?" I asked in all seriousness. Seth shoves his hands in his pockets and turns away from me.

"The situation in there just seemed tense, so I didn't want you getting caught up in something like a fight. No offense buttercup," Seth's eyes run up and down my form, making me blush. "But you don't seem like the type that can defend yourself with any ease."

I open my mouth to retaliate but images from two years ago swarm through my thoughts and I clamp my mouth shut, my lips form a taut line. Seth chuckles. "Don't worry. I'm sure the King will be just fine without you there. He's a big boy." Seth reassures me and I nod, though I can't stop myself from worrying over Steven. I'd promised to be there for him if he needs me and now here I am gone from the room and with Seth. Despite being given the okay from my childhood friend I can't help but feel guilt.

A hand appears in my line of sight and I jump. "It's alright." Seth said and I look up, meeting his gaze as best I can, flinching when I feel his hand cover mine. "I don't bite." He smiles as he repeats the words he'd said on the phone. There's something about that smile that draws mine to the surface, though it's much smaller. A whisper of a smile, really.

Sorry Steven. I hope everything's okay.

"Carmen?" At the sound of my name I drop Seth's hand and jump away from him. My stomach turns over in disgust at myself for acting in such a way but it doesn't stop me from continuing. I look over and my eyes clash with Audrey's, the girl from the bathroom on Monday. My heart sinks and anxiety spikes.

She saw us. Did she see that we were holding hands? What does she think? Is she going to tell everyone? What's she going to say? I'm okay. I'm okay.

"Why aren't you at lunch? And why are you with Mop Head out of all people?" She questions sneering when she uses Seth's nickname. Her eyes travel between us before settling back on me and then growing wide. "Wait, you two aren't-"

"Project partners for Mrs. Pelinskie's coding class?" Seth jumps in, taking a step in front of me and drawing Audrey's eyes to him. "Afraid so." He looks back at me. "We were just talking about when to meet up next."

Audrey's eyes narrow and her gaze shoots between the both of us, not sure whether to believe what she's being told. Before I can think I open my mouth, "It's true. You know me, Audrey. I'm friends with Steven and Gwen. You don't think I'd be hanging around Mop Head on my own do you?" My voice wobbles and I wonder if what I'm saying will even be believed, though a part of me isn't sure if I even want it to be. Just using the nickname alone has me feeling nauseous. Audrey is quiet for a long time before snickering.

"You're totally right. Sorry, I got it wrong. Come on Carmen, let's head back to the lunch hall." She reaches out and latches onto my wrist not so much as giving me a chance to respond. I look towards Seth as I get led away and he just smiles and waves appearing to be unaffected by the harsh and disgusting words I'd just spoken. Shame rolls over me and I have to look away, unable to stomach looking at Seth.

I'm okay. I'm okay.

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