Blood As Tears

Chapter 1

   

Is this really the world?
Shall i grieve? Shall i hope?
I prefer to sing.

-Adonis , 'from I imagine a poet'.

MIA LEE started at the distance while the basket ball created thumping noises on the gym ground . Her blue eyes stayed fixed at the beam of sunlight that enetered the gym arena through the canvas coloured blinds . The wolves continued to battle the ravens in the basket ball court with the score of 2 : 1 . The match was going on as anticipated and the whole middle school was waiting for a turn of events .

Her father , James Lee , the physology teacher at her school had opend his coat and was seated at the teacher's stand while visualising the match . Her mother Diana sat in a ladylike manner beside her father . The sight of them smiling brought mia back in the verge of tears as last night's scenes came back to her .

Mia sat on her table with a bowl of soup before her . Tears streamed down her cheeks while she continously tried to wipe them off with the sleeve of her T shirt . The only sound in the house was made by her sobbing while her parents sat in dismay at the table . Her grade sheet sat on the table . Physically it was light as a peice of paper should be but emotionally the c grade marked on the paper felt like the weight of the earth .

Diana's face was ashen as she sat shocked . All Mia did was that she got up from her chair and walked up the wooden stairs towards her room .

************************************

The small box felt warm in her cold hands. Only the metal blade provided the emotion of depression . The door to her room was already locked ,now the only thing left to do was to draw out blood . She fished the blade out from the box and twirled the small piece of metal in her hand .

The blade dug deeper in her flesh and crimoson red blood dripped down her shoulders, the blood staining the white fabric of her t shirt.

************************************
The last basket was scored and a horde of tenth graders cheered . Tears stained her cheeks . And she felt no happiness in watching her boyfriend Elliot win.  She knew she should but she just couldn't .

I want to die .

I want to die .

I want to die .

The same words echoed in her mind. She fake smiled at Elliot and congratulated him . If she hadn't loved him she would have been crying in her bed right now .  Why ? . She doesn't know . It's just this overwhelming deprssion that caused her to drown in her thought . She had learned and accpeted the fact that she can never be freed of this pain and misery .