Dear Future Husband...
I've grown exponentially in the past week. I wish you could appreciate the changes I've been through, and that you had met me before I was like this. Just so that you could be prepared should I revert back to my old ways.
To be honest, I still love YouTube videos, especially BTS ones. But I can easily choose other things over them. When people are around, or could be around in the near future, I put my phone in an undistracting place. It's become a habit. I like going to all the events of the year, and people - including guys - smile at me as I walk across campus. A guy even sat with me today for breakfast. I have lost 8 pounds since deciding to start losing weight. I eat less, and healthier. I haven't had pizza once at the caf. Last night I only had a smoothie for supper, but don't worry. I'm being healthy- except I need to eat more fruits and vegetables. Give me time. I'm improving! I go on walks almost every morning, and take a shower every day. I got a haircut, so my hair looks healthier.
I'm happier too. I go out wearing the clothes I want to wear, without feeling like I will be judged. I'm doing my best to be completely myself. I am sorry I stayed hiding for so long. I was afraid and confused, and I had a lot I needed to process. Don't blame yourself for letting me be like that for so long. If you had found me earlier, I would have used you as a crutch rather than a partner.
I want to look back on my past writings today, and see what has happened. But I'm not sure if now is the best time.
