Ego's Trap | ✔

30 | It's True

There it is, the one thing that confuses me 'bout her. Why does she have to lie for attention?

"Why? Why do you keep saying that? Do you really hate me that much, enough to make up such crazy lies? All because I'm with your brother?" I sighed, taking out my notepad and pencil, writing a quick note and tearing the paper off with the intent to hand it over to her, but Jade didn't pull a muscle. "I know I'm not the right person to tell you this, but I know a good therapist. His name's Justice Connor, just a couple of blocks away from here. Things are still pretty iffy, but he really does his best to help me through it all, and I'm sure he'll do the same with you, so here's his phone number."

"What can a therapist do, huh? Nothing! They can't change what's already happened." While folding her arms, she narrowed her eyes at me. "I. Killed. Them. Get it through your fuckin' head. I deserve what you did to me, and far more. That's all there is to it, so hurry up and hate me already as you did before."

She knows the names of my uncle and cousin, but there is just no way she knows them for the reason she insists to be true. She just needs help, just like me, for whatever reason it may be. "It's okay, you don't have to do this to yourself. You can talk it through with someone, and don't be scared, we can take things slow, step by step, okay?"

"Why is she so dumb? Why is her sister the only one that understands?" She grumbled to herself. "Look, Imani Ane, I know I'm not a good person, but your sister── " She took a deep breath and released it. "Your sister, in her own words, gave me the chance of a lifetime. She gave me what you may know as Deep Feelings." No... no, no way. "I'm still taking it little by little, but I think you know where this is going, seeing how you look right now." No, please, no! Let this all be a sick game, a sick dream, something horribly mean but not real. "You get it now, don't you?" Then it came: a sick smile, with a new twist── a painfully dark chuckle coming right before it. "I've beaten, I've tortured, I've killed, and I've laughed... all in that specific order, or sometimes with no order at all. I've done it many times. Most of the time I got paid for it very generously, but the money barely mattered to me, really. Lying here on this bed drugging the fuck out of myself with the shit your sister gave me has made me see myself as who I truly am as of right now, and be disgusted with it. I'm not a good person. I'm not misunderstood. I'm not just a teen with teenage angst. I'm not lost. Somewhere along the way, when I was a good person, when I was misunderstood, when I was just a teen with teenage angst, when I was lost── I crossed paths with some shady people of the underworld and was trained to be something others fear. I... I've been a hitman for a long while now. Haha, nevermind that. I've been a hitwoman."

No, it's just not possible. She couldn't have── no, I don't care if she's got Deep Feelings in her system or not. For all I know she's just making more lies from her overactive imagination. Even if she did take Teresa's invention, it may just be making her compulsive lying or jealousy worse. She doesn't need help. She just needs to be institutionalized for the rest of her life.

"Stop it Jade, that's enough! I'm going to talk to your mother 'bout this."

"Oh you're so stupid and cute." Jade chuckled. "Mother, just like Father, has never done anything for me or for any of us, for as long as I can remember. She'll easily ship me off to a boarding school no matter how much she may or may not love me. She probably doesn't know what my favorite color is, or when I started having my period, because a nanny── and not my mother── was there for me instead. Hell, my siblings were all strangers to me, we all had different nannies. Both Mother and Father have been too busy being breadwinners to give us any attention. I don't care if it wasn't their intention, and I don't care if they're trying to fix it now by having us all come over here and pretend we're all a big happy family. Hell, Father left for a so-called business trip in the middle of this dumb vacation 'cause he couldn't handle our shit and there's a fine line that's already been crossed for some of us that can never allow us to be a family, anyway! So who are you going to talk to? Are you going to talk to my fake-ass mother? Why not talk to my nanny instead? Oh! I'm sorry── she's dead, and has been for ages! Nobody else could've known what to do, or how to really punish me. It's too bad, really. Besides, that so-called mother of mine already knows about me, and not even once has she stopped by to see me. You see, both that woman and Teresa know I'm a monster fairly well, they heard it come right out of me on my way here, and believed it all unlike your dumb-ass. They're smart to have done so. Anyway, nobody loves me, and that's all that matters and all there is to it, so stop trying to be the cutesy little veteran victim reachin' out to some other hurt little bitch. I fucking deserve this shit."