Zero Two Three One | John Laurens X Reader [Hamilton]

XV: Seven Soldiers Walked Into a Room

But what has him sad?

"Before we left," John starts, shoving his hands in his pockets, "Burr warned me to be careful when askin' you what happened. He said you might lie."

I hadn't realized it before, but my head injury has caused me to be awfully unperceptive. It takes me several seconds to understand what he said, and when I do, it takes another couple of seconds to word a response.

"Is that so?"

"Yeah," John says, giving a soft and sad chuckle. He looks over at me with sympathetic eyes, melting the ice in my bones. "But I'm not too concerned about you lyin'. I trust you."

Even if my comprehension abilities are low at the moment, I understand him quickly at this particular moment. He has set up the floor for me to tell my story, saying that he trusts I won't lie. I am no fool. He said he trusts me as a clever strategy. If I were going to lie, I'd think twice after what he said. I'd feel guilty! And yet, I never intended to lie.

John is allowing silence for me to speak, and I will tell him the truth and nothing but the truth.

And so I told him the story... every part of it. I leave no detail out. I explain my reason for being in Lafayette's cabin in the first place, and how Lafayette went completely bonkers when he heard me speak. I tell John that I had to fight back to defend myself, and I'd be dead right now if I didn't. I say that Alexander came storming in upon hearing me scream his name, and they were at a standoff that may have never ended if he had not stepped in at that time.

Throughout the entire story, I can feel John listening intently. His eyes don't drop from mine for a second. It's as though he needs to keep eye contact or I'll stop talking. I appreciate his attention a lot more than I thought I would. I feel cared about. I'm sure no one else would have listened to me the way John did right now. They'd immediately write me up as guilty the moment Lafayette says I stabbed him, not regarding for one second the circumstances under which I stabbed him. John doesn't voice such scrutinizing opinions. On the contrary, I believe he is truly trusting me right now. He doesn't question a word I say.

When I'm done telling the story, we sit in the silent Ocelot for five minutes. Those five minutes of quietness were actually quite tranquil. My heart, which had been going faster and faster with every word of the story I told, slows back down to a calming pace. I keep the ice bag pressed against a new pinpoint of pain in my head, then lean back a little more.

Without the Ocelot on, the heat has stopped coming out from the air ventilation, and the temperature of the interior has been gradually getting colder. It started gently snowing a while ago, just like Alexander and I thought it would. It's bound to get worse.

What's going on back in camp.

As if reading my thoughts, John sighs deeply and speaks up.

"I'm sure the rest of the soldiers are vigorously tryin' to find out what happened, so don't be surprised if they know everythin' by the time we come back."

I don't fully comprehend what he says, but I have no interest in trying to. I don't want to think about what people are going to say when we return to camp. I might be crucified for daring to hurt Lafayette. I don't even want to think about what they're staying to Alexander.

"I can't believe that happened," John says conversationally. He shakes his head in disbelief. "I don't think that's ever happened before."

"Guess I'll go down in history then," I say playfully.

"Hopefully this doesn't leak out to the public... What the hell is wrong with Lafayette attackin' a small girl?"

"I'm not small."