definitely maybe - e.d

chapter fifteen: a fucking roadtrip

ethan dolan pov
16:08pm

i did it. i told her that i love her. i meant every word of it and i don't regret it.

as she stared at me with her mouth agape, tears filling her eyes, i just knew i had to protect this girl with every fibre in my body.

"what?" she said in shock.

"i fucking love you, raelynn robinson. i love everything about you. i love the way you don't care what people think of you, i love the way you laugh and i love the way you move. i love every single thing that makes you you. and i would never ever fucking change you, because i am crazily, hopelessly, in love with you" the words spilled from my mouth, it even shocked me.

"oh my god, ethan, i love you too" she said with a smile on her face, making me sigh a breath of relief.

i leant over and kissed her cheek softly, whispering in her ear.

"we're gonna be ok, baby. i promise"

"i believe you" she said.

"i love you, rae"

"i love you more, e"

"let's get home, yeah?"

she nodded as she held tightly onto my hand whilst i pulled out of the parking lot and drove towards my house.

—————————

"raelynn, honey, i'm so sorry for your loss. have some tea" my mom offered as she placed the teapot on the living room table.

"thanks, lisa" rae said with a smile.

she took the teapot and poured some into her cup.

"i think i'm ok, honestly. my mom was in a very bad place, for a long time, she was tormented, i think she was holding on for me. i think she's found peace now" rae said sincerely.

"you're strong, rae, and we're proud of you. remember you can stay here for as long as you want. anyway, you're a good influence on my ethan, we could do with you around here" my mom said.

i smiled at rae once my mom spoke, rubbing her back for comfort.

"that means a lot to me lisa, thank you. although i don't know about the good influence thing" she laughed.

as her and my mom sat and had a conversation, i just sat there and watched, watched the way she threw her head back when she laughed, the way her eyes lit up when she got excited.

everything about this girl was fucking perfect, and she was so capable of breaking my heart, it scared the shit out of me.

"maybe we should go somewhere" rae said, snapping me out of my trance.

"what do you mean?" i asked.

"like let's go away, on a road trip or something, fuck school, fuck all of it, let's just go, me and you" she urged.

i wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her towards me, kissing her neck softly as i whispered in her ear, "i will go anywhere as long as it's with you"

"really?!" she said excitedly, i nodded.

"let's go, tomorrow morning, super early!" she said excitedly.

"ok, i'm up for it, i have enough money for like a two week trip" i said.

"yeah, i have some too. oh my god i'm excited! this is what i need. thank you, e"

"you don't have to thank me, angel" i kissed her forehead.

i pulled her in for a hug and put my chin on her head, embracing her with intent.

"wherever you go, i go, baby" i said.

"deal" she chuckled.

after an evening of watching television and cuddling on the couch, we decided to call it a night. the plan was to get up at 5am. rae wanting us to be driving when the sun came up, because she loved sunrises.

we decided that our destination would be colorado. which is a 28 hour drive from new jersey, but we were going to make stops in between.

our first stop was ohio, but i'm sure we would end up stopping before then, rae is very impatient and can't keep still longer than 5 minutes, so that's a problem.

my mom said we could take the RV, so we had somewhere to sleep, her and rae got all excited and decorated it with fairy lights and blankets.

i knew this was what rae needed to clear her head, and i wanted to make it the best trip she ever had.

i even planned on asking her to be my girlfriend at some point, i just hadn't figured out the right time.

we walked into my bedroom and fell onto my bed, talking excitedly about our trip tomorrow.

"i love you, rae" i said as i held her hands.

"i fucking love you"

"let's get some sleep, we're up at 5am sharp" i suggested.

we climbed under the covers and i wrapped my arms around her from, intertwining our bodies and feeling the warmth of hers engulf me.

"e?" she whispered.

"yeah?"

"you won't leave me, right?"

"turn around" i ordered.

she flipped her body over so she was facing me, i presses my head against hers as i looked into her eyes.

"wherever you go, i go. remember?"

she nodded and i pressed my lips against hers, the kiss was full of love, not lust.

"goodnight, angel" i whispered.