Bechloe - Sanity

Chapter XL

Stacie's POV

It's been about a week since I've seen Aubrey and it hurts like Hell that I've hurt her. I feel like a right asshole. I feel like shit for sleeping with Beca and I feel like shit for assuming Aubrey cheated on me. All I had to do was hear her out and I couldn't even do that. I'm SUCH an idiot. This is why I need to use my brain more. I jump to conclusions and go with them without any regard for anyone else. I hate myself right now and I hate that I've upset Aubrey. I know I'm not one to judge and be annoyed that she's ignoring me and I know I have no right to feel that way. What I did to Aubrey was way worse than what I thought she did to me. It's all so messed up and I wish I could just turn back time and stop myself from going with my delusions. I miss Aubrey and I feel like so much time has passed without her. I miss her so much and I wish more than anything for us to get back together.

As much as I want to go to her and talk things through, I know she needs her space and the least I could do right now is respect that. Thankfully, I've got other things to keep me occupied such as Beca who is getting worse and worse to the point where she's hardly doing anything at all. She hardly gets out of bed and if she does, she goes to her home studio and works on music. She's constantly down and she's not interested in much. She works on her music but that's about it. I'm really starting to get worried about her. This Beca isn't the Beca I know. It's gotten to the point now where I've made a doctor's appointment for Beca to try and help her. Don't even get me started on how long it took me to drag her ass out of bed. I LITERALLY had to do it. It was like handling a five-year-old but Beca is at the doctor's office now so that's all that matters.

"I don't know why I'm here, Stacie," Beca grumbles. "I'm fine."

"Becs, you're NOT fine, which is why we're here. I'm worried about you."

"You don't need to be. I'm a big girl and I can take care of myself."

"I know you can but you're acting differently now so I just want to make sure you're okay, that's all."

Beca huffs, crossing her arms and pouting like a child and if it wasn't frowned upon, I'd give her a smack on the ass.

"Hello, Stacie," Doctor Barrows enters her office.

"Hi, Kimmy," I greet.

Kimmy and I used to be high school friends. We lost touch for a bit but became friends again a few years ago. She's done right by me and she's one of the best doctors in L.A. In my opinion anyway.

"How's it going?" She asks.

"Yeah, not too bad. Yourself?"

"I'm very well, thank you. Hello, Miss Mitchell," she smiles.

"Hey,"

"How are you feeling today?"

"Mph," she shrugs.

"Feeling a bit 'eh'?"

"I suppose."

"That's okay. Now, Stacie has called me and told me about what's happened. She's told me that you're not yourself and she's worried about you."

"You told her about what's happened?" Beca smacks my leg.

"Becs, I'm worried about you, okay? She needs to know if she's going to help you."

"I don't need help! I'm fine."

"Beca, please talk to her and then you can be on your way. Please, just humour me."

Beca glares at me then crosses her arms again.

"She usually is grumpy but not like this," I tell Kimmy.