Station 11

cinquante quatre.

My suitcase was packed and I was holding it tight in my fist. After a long hug from Soonyoung and Chan, I was walking towards the exit. My hands were shaking. I've been in here for more than a year and I was finally leaving. Not just for a day. Not just for the weekend. But forever.
Mingyu left last night, since none of his parents could've picked him up today. They are busy working. Jisoo was next to me and opened the last door to leave this station. I turned around one last time and looked at the little sign. 

Station 11.

Memories flooded back. Meeting my new friends. Dancing. Crying. Laughing. Sneaking up to the rooftop. Dr. Nam. Tears started to appear, when I thought of my moments with Junhui. Our first kiss. The time he was teasing me. His love confession. Our date. In this one year I could feel how much I have grown and changed into a better person.

And my mother probably thought the same, when I was in her warm hug and she was sobbing out of happiness into my ear. I also let the tears out. I was happy to leave, but it was also heartbreaking after all this time.
Jisoo patted my shoulders and wished me luck, before I got into the car with my mum.

"How are you feeling?", she asked me and grabbed my hand.

"I don't know. Happy. Excited. Nervous. Kinda sad", I confessed.

"That's totally fine. Dr. Nam prepared us both for this. We will go through this together", she said and squeezed my hand after her sentence.

"Thanks, mum", I whispered as she started the car.

"Anything for you", she told me with a big smile.

It was weird to go home now. To sleep alone without Chan being in the same room. To wake up whenever I want and to eat when and whatever I want. But I was ready. Dr. Nam's bootcamp prepared me for it. It was time to start over and to stand on my own feet.

I let out a sigh when I saw my home and got out of the car. It looked strange to me, even if it was the house I have lived in for many years. The familiar smell of this house sorrounded me, when mum unlocked and opened the door. In this cold weather it was also nice to come into a heated house.

"Go to your room and unpack your stuff. And look closely onto your bed", she said with a little smirk.
I opened the door and a familiar room was infront of me. Seeing my room again after months with all the things that stayed the same. Still the same bedsheets, the same papers on my little white desk. It felt unusual and I knew it would take some time to feel at home.
I saw what mum meant by looking at the bed. A little box wrapped in red paper with glitter was sitting on my bed.

"The box can't wait to get opened", mum whispered behind me and made me chuckle.

"Okay", I said and took a step closer. It even had a little red bow on top of it. I slowly sat down on my bed, like I was too afraid to be disrespectful. My hands lifted the box and put them onto my legs. I opened the lid and saw a lot of little colorful pieces of paper. 

"Your friends from the hospital wrote you some nice messages and wishes. Sorry I couldn't hold myself back and didn't give you time to read and find out yourself", she said.

I laughed again. "It's fine, mum"

I picked up the first paper.

Thanks for being my roommate for that time. I hope you will find happiness in yourself soon and I hope we will meet again. Love, Lee Chan. p.s. don't forget to call us.

I smiled as I was reading it and imagined Chan's excited voice. The next one was on a green paper.

Without your help I would've never found such a great dance team that gave me something to put my energy into. Thanks for keeping up with my annoying self. Kwon Soonyoung.

I closed my eyes and remembered the times on the roof and later in our own practice room. The times with only us four and later when the other ones joined.

The next one was a plain white color. From a person I would've never thought that he'd join in the present.

I hope you're still into rapping and singing. Let's all continue with Seventeen, when we get out. Lee Jihoon.

Only four were left. I grabbed the light pink one.

Thanks for helping me through the struggles I've had with Junhui. We all would've never come so far without your help. Stay strong and love yourself. Jeon Wonwoo.

Memories flooded my mind. Me finding Wonwoo in this terrible situation, him telling me everything, me beating up Junhui. I shook my head, hoping these thoughts would disappear, as I grabbed the next one. In a darker pink.

You were my first best friend that helped me go through so much. Thanks for sticking with me from the beginning until this bootcamp. Sorry for being such a burden sometimes. Let's eat well in the future! Kim Mingyu

My eyes became teary after I ended his message for me. Mingyu seeing me as a best friend made me feel proud.
My fingers were holding a light gray paper. I chuckled when I read the name on it.

I don't think nurses are allowed to write something, but let's keep it a secret. It was really fun hanging out with you guys. Wish you the best health! Hong Jisoo.

Jisoo has always been really kind to us and seemed more than a friend and not like a nurse. The last one was in a dark red color. My favourite color. Tears streamed down when I read the message.

I am proud of you. I love you. I am sorry. You are still everything I've ever had and I wish I could see you again to explain myself and tell you how sorry I am for leaving and lying to you. Again, I love you and not a single day passes by were I don't think of you and wish I would've done things differently. I love you, Junhui.

A few chapters left oh oh.
See you, soon.
Mel.