Station 11

trente-sept

Junhui was still sitting at the corner when it was time to eat. And he always had our back turned to us. But it was better for me. Because the look in his face was too painful for me to look at. He was going through a very hard time. And I couldn't help him.

Even Wonwoo seemed to feel a bit sad about Junhui's behaviour sometimes. But nothing changed. It was also our second group therapy today. Wonwoo and Junhui went first and Mingyu had to wait with me for 20 minutes.

"Do you think they'll talk already. Without us?", I asked him and Mingyu looked up.

"I hope so. It would be a big step for them if they can have a conversation without us. And what about you? Did you come closer to Junhui already?", Mingyu wanted to know.

I shook my head. "Sorry, I am really trying. But everytime I look at him I get scared", I confessed.

"But he still loves you", Mingyu's words made me freeze.

"And I also still love him", I told him.

The nurse came to tell us that we could leave and we slowly entered the room and spotted Wonwoo, Junhui and Dr. Nam in it. We greeted them and sat down. Mingyu next to Wonwoo and I was next to Junhui.

"Ok now we continue", Dr. Nam gave all of us a smile. "We were just talking about last week and what happened. I am very proud of you two. I heard that you are now training together. Without any fights or worse things. You are taking a big step"

I could see Wonwoo smiling a little. He was also proud of himself. I looked at Junhui. He was keeping a straight face and was staring onto the floor.

"I am also very proud of you", I whispered into his ear. His head slightly moved upwards and our eyes met. A wave of emotions and feelings were going through them. He smiled. And I smiled back.

"Minghao, do you also have to say anything?", Dr. Nam interrupted our moment.

"Oh, yes. It's great to see them working together. They don't talk at all when we are together, but at least they don't ignore each other. It would be even better if they could start a friendship"

Dr. Nam gave me a smile. "Yeah, but let's move on slowly.

When the session was over, everybody was leaving but Junhui wanted to have a small conversation with Dr. Nam in private.

I was going back to my room and found Chan. He was reading a book.

"Wait a minute. You have been reading that book since I am here. How many times did you already read that", I asked him and sat down next to him.

He looked up and greeted me with a smile, before talking.

"You're right. But everytime I can get home my family writes some cute and motivating stuff on random pages and I love finding new ones", he said and giggled out of embarrassment.

"Cute. Your family must be nice", I said and his eyes actually started glowing.

"Yes, I love them. My dad is also a dancer and my mum takes good care of me. If these people in my school never would've bullied me I've could've lived a normal life", he sighed at the end.

"Oh, I totally forgot that you also got bullied. And even if your real family is not with you at the moment, you still have us. Please know that you can talk to us. In this place you can see us as your family", I put my hand on his head and messed up his hair a little.

"Yeah, but you are also going through some hard stuff, too. I would just be bothering you"

I shook my head and remembered the words in his secret notebook. I felt bad for forgetting that he was suffering.

"You have Soonyoung. Even Mingyu and Wonwoo would try to help you. I know it's still hard for you to trust people and you can of course take your time, but it will also help a lot of you try to find the right words about your feelings", I told him and he again giggled.

"Sorry, but you sound like a grandpa", he said and made me laugh, too.

"You little rascal", I stood up and went to my closet.

"By the way. It's just a random thought that came up right now, but I remember something from a trip we made when you weren't here. It was again at the Namsan Tower. I saw some guys from my school and they were also noticing me and then they started laughing at me and called me names, because I was on a trip with my psychiatry. They called me sick and disgusting. But do you know what Junhui did. He pressed them to a wall and talked to them and cleared things up. He did scare them a lot, but he didn't push them or yelled at them at all. Which back then was a thing that Junhui did on a daily basis. The same day he told me what he did to Wonwoo", I froze after these words. The shirt in my hand fell to the ground.

"Why did you tell me that?", I asked him, staying in the same position, not being able to move. 

"Like I said, it was a random thought. But maybe you just think about it. Wonwoo said he's trying to see the present Junhui, the one that tries to control his anger. Not the one that bullied him and made his life miserable. You should do the same. Junhui was always a little tease with you, but he did it out of love. He never knew true love, so he expressed his feelings towards you in this way. But you changed him. You can't drop him like that", Chan leaned against the wall next to his bed.

"How do you know all of that?", my voice was shaking.

"He told me"

"Junhui?"

"Yeah"

And at that moment, like in a cheesy movie, Wen Junhui opened the door to our room.

"If you tell him any of the things I said right now, I will never talk to you again. Because Junhui would kill me", Chan whispered, before he turned his head to the door and smiled.

I am so surprised about all the positive and friendly comments I got from you all from my a/n! I'm also very thankful for all of your understanding! Thanks again for giving me 70k reads. It means so much for me!