Because You're Different ✔

84. Selfish [Part 2]

My phone had been lighting up for a while now, at uneven intervals. Luis was entranced by it, sitting upright in his crib, his lips forming a circle, gurgling something every time a flash filled the tiny room. I looked at him, wondering if he was the only Guevara I could still trust.

Another message. That must've been the eleventh one by now. Luis produced a happy squeal, some drool slobbering down his chin. His eyes inspected me expectantly. Come on, tía, they said, pick up your phone, it's fun!

Fine. But only to turn it off. With a heavy arm, I moved to grab the thing from the chair next to my bed. Maybe I should throw it out the window, be done with it for good — the window was there, though, and I was here, too lazy, too exhausted to get up. My stomach turned upside down when I opened my cover.

Twenty-five messages.

From Sam.

Sam: Yo June. Where are you?

Come on, man.

Why did you leave

I don't get it

I thought things were going great

At that moment, there was urgent knocking on the apartment door. Valentina called out something, and I heard her trudge towards it, opening up the safety latch. There were voices, hers and another — it sounded like...

It sounded like...

But it couldn't be, right?

It couldn't, he wasn't here, he was there, with her, Charlotte 2.0 the improved version, so how, how could he be here?

My eyes were trained on the door, my breath stuck in my throat. The phone on the floor lit up again, another message from Sam, though all I could see from here was that it was ten pm, two hours after I'd returned. Two hours. Could it really be?

Footsteps. A turning doorknob. Valentina's head, sticking into the room, hitting the light switch and erasing the dark. Luis cried out in delight, rocking on his legs, and she smiled at him. Then, she turned to me. "He's here," she said, and my broken heart all of a sudden wasn't that broken anymore. "Says he loves you. Do I let him in?"

Something fluttered inside of me, something small and soft, and without realizing it, I nodded, slowly, the fluttering growing stronger.

Her head disappeared.

I tried to control my breathing, still not understanding what was happening, what was going on...

And then, the door opened in full, banging into Luis' crib, and there he was.

Nathan.

Still in the jeans and nice shirt he'd been wearing this morning, his jacket draped over his shoulder, only now there were sweat stains in the fabric near his armpits, his hair flat at the back, standing up on top.

He looked at Luis, who was gazing up at him like he'd never seen a more fascinating sight. "Sorry," Nathan said to him, and it was his voice, and it was him, and he was here.

He was here.

Why?

He stepped further in the room, now turning his attention to me, almost filling up all of the space, and closed the door. His eyes stared into mine, unbearably alive, and my body tensed, not knowing how to handle this unexpected visit. The silence sizzled, even Luis kept still, watching in complete awe, and I didn't get what this was.

"June," Nathan said then, and there was something in his tone that shook me, something determined, "I hope you don't mind, but I thought this was a good time to be selfish." He was breathing fast, like he'd run a few miles, and his hands were shaking, only lightly, yet enough for me see.