Because You're Different ✔

64. Alone

Sam

I tried to suck in air, but it didn't work. All it did was blow up my chest — I couldn't get any further than that.

Did I do this? Was this all my fault?

June was standing in the hallway, talking to Hayley. They were quiet and serious. Hayley had her arms wrapped around herself, and June had her left hand clenched into a fist, pressing it into her side. They hugged each other, the kind of long hug you gave when you were hurting. That sort of hurt you couldn't ignore anymore, like the giant rock resting on the bottom of my stomach right now. Would I get a hug like that one too? Or did they both still hate me? I knew June had always said you should never hate someone, but maybe she'd make an exception for me if I told her what I'd done.

She couldn't leave. She just couldn't. Who would cook for me if she did? Who would command me to take out the trash or do the dishes? Whose grumpy face would I get to glare at in the mornings?

Trying to not draw any attention to myself, I stalked to her bag. She'd filled it up with stuff from her room here, some clothes and books. It was definitely not all — if I'd go upstairs now, I probably wouldn't be able to see she was moving away.

Why did everyone move away from me?

I opened the zipper and took out her laptop, the old one Nathan gave her. No use to keep that one. She was already cursing at it enough as it was — I doubted it would hold on much longer. And she needed a good one, for her coding and all that. Would there be a Computer Club for her in New York? I hoped so. And it better not be swarming with dickheads like Malik.

With a sigh, I touched the case of my own laptop. I bought it for my birthday, at two-thousand dollars, so I could play Skyrim with the other guys in top HD quality. Up until now, the only things I'd done with it was walk around with my mage, and watch free porn. I was pretty sure she'd make better use of it. Sayonara, my friend. You were going to have a much more boring life with her than with me, but hey, it was for a good cause. I didn't need you at the moment anyway. I still had the Xbox, and my mage had been slaughtered by a Necromancer when June had called about her dad having a second heart attack. Starting over with an old save was no fun.

I slid the other laptop behind the shoe rack, where she wouldn't see it. She'd made a backup earlier today, so I could just get rid of this one once she was... once she was... elsewhere.

"June, are you coming?"

Mrs. Aranda stuck her head around the front door. For some reason, she'd rarely come inside when picking up June in the past, and she wasn't now. Weird woman. There was definitely a screw loose in her head. Month after month had she practically looked like a hobo escaped from a high-security prison, and now, with her husband six feet under, or well, more like burned to a crisp, she was gorgeous again. With her hair all done and a dress, showing off her legs — weren't you supposed to wear black when you were in mourning?

"Yeah, just... give me a second," June said, waving her away. I should've paid more attention to her moves all these years. Actually kind of interesting what a body could do. Sometimes her fingers did these things where they were so tense they bent backward. I tried to copy it once, but my fingers couldn't get any further than just straight and flat.

Was she going to say goodbye to me too?

Hayley was sniffing, her lips curling downwards. She didn't look at me. She hadn't looked at me since she'd stormed off, calling me jealous. If I hadn't been jealous then, I was now — she got another hug. Maybe June thought I didn't like hugging. And yeah, normally I didn't. This time, though, I really, really needed it.