Because You're Different ✔

77. Spies

Sam

A lady was singing in Spanish: her deep, low voice made me envision a Latina queen, a classy, ageless woman sprawled on a couch, huge earrings glinting in the spotlight. June had played her before. I think she once mentioned this was her father's favorite, but to be honest, I wasn't sure. I'd never paid attention to the songs before, and with it being in a language I didn't understand, it was difficult to keep the one from the other. I used to get bored with them quickly because of that. This time, though, I was making an effort to be my best self.

This evening had to work. It just had to. I had all of them back together in one house, June, Nathan, and Hayley, and I'd do anything, anything, to have it stay like that.

During dinner, the sound of knives clattering against platters was masked by laughter, mostly June's. If you asked me, she was nervous, dropping more than usual, downing lots of wine — that habit hadn't changed either. Nathan wasn't doing any better, already leaning back in his chair like his body had become too heavy for him. Every time he was smiling, looking at her, and she was smiling back, Hayley and I would exchange these knowing glances. We had to collect evidence, after all, and then analyze the data, like we were doing this serious college project. The secrecy of it pumped me up. I couldn't sit still, imagining we were spies, sent on a mission to save the US from going down — or in this case, my family from falling apart again.

We left the dishes, deciding to do them tomorrow, and moved to the living room, June quietly murmuring along to the song as she settled on the couch, in the corner, her eyelids fluttering. Hayley sat down beside her, handing her another glass of wine — how drunk was she trying to get her? I was warm inside, that feeling like when the guys and I were deep into our campaign, almost forgotten that we weren't really hill dwarves and halflings and wizards, only now, I was intensely myself. It was kind of weird. While I took a place before them on the ground, the perfect angle to study all three — err two of them, Nathan let himself fall back in the cushions.

This was what I'd been missing those two years. This was how it'd been like before everything went to shit — before my brother had left, before I'd messed up, before Mr. Guevara had died.

June breathed in deeply, gently swaying to the music. What did those words mean, to make her seem this satisfied? Her bra strap had slid from her shoulder, and I checked if Nathan noticed. Hayley might've said I was too clueless to recognize the signs, I knew guys, and I knew my brother. "Sam," June said, the corners of her mouth curling up wickedly, "do you remember when you and Jennifer were together, and she'd printed that enormous picture of you two kissing? To give it to you on your one-month anniversary?"

Seemed like everyone remembered, Nathan already bent double, Hayley falling sideways against June's shoulders. My face became hot, trying to push out the image of that embarrassing time of my life. It wasn't like it was fully my fault. They could've stopped me from dating her.

"It wasn't that big!"

Nathan shook his head at me, like I was a puppy that'd failed to run after the stick. "It was tabloid size."

Hayley let out a freakish shriek, slapping her knee. Her ponytail had come undone, and the blonde strands tickled her bare shoulders. She hadn't gotten any less cute in the past two years, with her feet tucked underneath her, wrapped up in blue-and-white penguin-patterned socks. Man, what would've happened if I had kissed her that day?

Nothing good, probably. I wasn't even sure if she liked guys. I mean, I had happened to check her Instagram a few times over the years, you know, just once or twice, and yeah, she had dated this asswipe of a dude, but she'd also had a girlfriend for a pretty long while. I wasn't really sure what to make of it.