The process is messy
But messy in the way spaghetti is.
The buildup takes time
But with an infantile swipe it's gone.
It being balance in this case.
Balance in my life had been teetering
But this wiped it out.
This was like that last baby tooth.
One root barely stringing it along.
I was assaulted by a door named college
This ripped it from my mouth.
Here I am bleeding n crying to mommy.
One thing I promised myself I'd never do
But I'm just as useless as before.
Now I'm just expected to be able to get back up myself.
I think that's why I'm not cut out for life.
I've never been the type to get back up
I can take blows easily.
But once on the ground I'm not returning
Unless dragged up
I feel like Rocky.
Beaten, bruised, battered.
However I'll have an easier ending
Whether by my own hand or life's,
I hope it is painless and quick.
A sharpened guillotine
Easy, messy, exciting and terrifying
That describes how I feel about myself.
And the prospect of said guillotine.
How would you feel being abused?
Not only by those around you
but yourself.
Hopefully you never have to feel that.
Now I leave myself with one final message:
I don't love you.
