Destroying a Monster (Xavier)

I Love You

                                          Aubrey

I woke up on the couch beside Clutch. I leaned up and flinched realizing I had pushed off my hurt arm. Blade, who was on the other side of the room, looked over at me.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Is there any medicine?" I asked getting up, he did too.

"I think in the kitchen." He followed me in the kitchen. "Sit," he pointed towards the table. I sat down as he looked through the cabinets. I started to unwrap my bandages flinching as I got to the last bit of gauze. I finally looked at me arm. Xavier's name was still freshly carved into the skin and the surrounding area was still a bright pink. I heard a sharp intake of breath and turned to Blade. He sat down beside me and handed me two ibuprofen with water.

"Thanks." He took my arm gently.

"I know this hurt like hell, Aubrey." I frowned. "He will never forgive himself for this." He muttered.

"He didn't do it though, they did."

"Yes because of him, they hurt you."

"I don't see it like that." He smiled slightly at me.

"I know you don't."

"Where is he, anyways?"

"Upstairs, I think. He isn't, really, um in the mood to be around anyone."

"What did he do to them?" Blade pursed his lips together. "I know he killed them." I muttered. I waited for this to bother me but it didn't. I wasn't phased by the fact that I heard him slowly kill one, or even when he made the other kill himself. Which made me question my own sanity.

"That's all you need to know."

"I wanna know how."

"No, you don't."

"B-"

"Aubrey, trust me okay? He took care of it." I sighed, leaning back in my chair. Maybe I didn't want to know. I got up to go up stairs, I wanted Xavier. "Aubrey,"

"I'm going to see him, Blade." I said cutting off his protest. His room was empty so I went to his office not bothering to knock on the door. When I walked in I realized everything was wrecked. It looked like a tornado had come through his office. The room was dark and I saw the dark outline of someone in his chair. I turned on the light seeing him with a drink in his hand leaned over his desk.

"Xavier." His body stiffened.

"Don't say that name." I frowned walking over to him. He didn't move as I went beside him. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders needing to have him close. He pulled me off, still not looking at me.

"Don't do this. Don't push me away." He stood up.

"What do you want, Aubrey?" I flinched as he used my real name. I thought about it for a minute, knowing that Blade was right, he was feeling guilty about all this.

"I want you to look at me." He didn't move he shook his head and looked down at the desk again.

"I'm not doing this right now, go back down stairs with Blade and Clutch."

"I want you." I admitted. If I left he would continue to blame himself, he would overthink everything and may do something to break my heart, like leave me. I needed him right now. He made me feel safe.

"And I want you to leave." I flinched his voice was cold and demanding. I felt hurt at first then told myself he was pushing me away on purpose.

"No." He turned now.