Our Hearts and Other High Notes

Track 26: Out of Love

"Don't worry though, I'll figure it out."
"How?" I murmured.
"I have some connections." She replied, still staring at her phone.

"Why are you helping me?" I whispered and she gave me a long stare clasping her hands.

"Remember that time you saw me crying in the bathroom? You could've told everyone how miserable and pathetic I was but you didn't and I owe you for that. You may think what I'm about to say is surprising but I'm not always as strong as I appear to be. I guess that what suga managed to see." she smiled warily. Maybe she really changed. I always believed that if given a chance people could actually change, if they really wanted to.

It was a long fight I was going to have tp go through so I could stay with him, but he was worth every single one.

                             ***

By the time Racheal and I went down to lunch, Mrs. Kim was scanning the table before tapping Jin's shoulder with praise. She was only fond with him and he told me it was because of her friendship with his family. She also smiled to Racheal with a little head bow.
Down the stairs came Taehyung dressed in a black turtle-neck and a beige scarf that covered half his face. His shoulders were dropped and his eyes looked dull as he slowly made his way to the table. My heart ached and I wanted to go there and hold his hand so bad, to let him know that everything will be okay. But I couldn't.

His mum was sitting at the head of the table and she glanced sideways when he sat at her left. She didn't look like that same cold and strong person instead she seemed calmer. It could be because Taehyung now knows something he shouldn't, I thought.

I made my way to sit next to him stopping in my tracks midway when I remembered that I'm not supposed to. He sat up straighter and his face lit up when he saw me and he also seemed to forget what we were foreplaying too.

"Oh sorry! You wanted to sit here?" Jennie came standing next to Tae with a huge smile looking between us. By now, everyone was sat at the table waiting for us eagerly to sit down too.
'Yes, I wanted to sit next to him.'
I wanted to say as I stared at him.

"No, you can take it." was what I said instead forcing the words out and yet another smile before sitting in the opposite direction between Racheal and Hobi and facing them.

"Yah, she's worse than Racheal." Hobi nudged me and whispered as he stuffed his mouth with steak. I nodded staring at my plate that was still full with food I didn't have the appetite to eat.

"So you're saying you like me now?" Racheal whispered back on my left when Mrs. Kim was busy discussing how work was going with Jin and Jennie.

"Yeah."
We both looked up from our plates and turned to him with eyes wide open. He stopped chewing and almost choked when he realized what he just said.

"Ani, ani." He freaked out waving his hands and placing the chopsticks down. "I just meant that on a scale of 'Gangnam evil snakeu' you dropped four places and now she's top 1. Doesn't mean I like you, it's just the time where we should put our fights aside and think of a way to get rid of her."

"You like me though. Don't be afriad to admit it Hobi." She giggled shaking her head with an amused smile.

His face was getting flushed because of how angry and hopeless he looked but my smile withered when I looked in front of me. Jennie placed her hand on Taehyung's shoulder while laughing on a story she was telling but he moved away.

I swallowed the pain in my chest meeting Tae's eyes that were soft as he smiled warily at me, letting me know that he doesn't care about her. His expression which was before dull and uninterested was now soft with longing. I broke our gaze grabbing the water cup and swallowing it all with a gulp.