Complicated | Calum Hood (Sequel to Unexpected)

19.

Jes

"This was a fucking terrible idea." Cal says rubbing his eyes as he lays beside me in the amazingly comfy resort bed. The white comforter a stark contrast to his caramel skin. He turns his head and leans down to press a kiss to my temple and sighs.

"Would you hate me for saying maybe we should go home?" I question. It's not like we're not having a great time here, we are. We really, really, have enjoyed our brief stay in Bali. But today is Christmas Eve. Tomorrow is our babies second Christmas and it was stupid of us to think we'd be okay celebrating a few days late since she's still too young to know the difference.

"Not at all. I think I agree. We'll lose out on some money but it's not a big deal. I don't wanna miss out on Christmas with P. I think we both overestimated our ability to be away from her."

I reach between us, interlocking my fingers with his. I roll onto my side and raise my eyes to meet his. "Let's go home." He pushes himself up swinging his legs off the side of the bed before turning around and offering his assistance in getting me up as well.

"I'll pack the bags, you work on a flight." I say moving past him towards the closet of the suite. He nods and pulls it his phone.

•

"Did you tell them we decided to come home early?" I ask Cal as we wait by the luggage carousel. It's already Christmas morning, but the wee hours. I hope if he has told everyone we're coming, he's told them we could manage a ride ourselves.

"No, I figured we'd let it be a surprise."

I nod and grab our bags as they come around on the moving platform. Cal immediately takes them from me and I roll my eyes but thank him for his gentlemanly gesture. He throws our carryons over his shoulder and wheels our massive bag behind him reaching his free hand out to grasp mine.

No one had been the wiser of our honeymoon plans so we'd managed to move quietly out of the country a few days ago and back in this morning with no fanfare. Cal looks for the Uber he'd ordered and throws our bags in the trunk before falling into the seat beside me. I lay across the seat my head in his lap. He stares down at me and runs his fingers through my hair. I close my eyes enjoying the sweet gesture and his gentle touch.

"You're not upset we came home early, right?" I ask. I know we'd discussed it before we'd made the arrangements to come home but I need the reassurance that he's not upset with me.

"Not at all, sweetheart. I'm ready to see our princess. I miss her so damn much."

"I don't know how you do it." I say softly. "Like, I know music is your passion and tour is part of that and I know you love being onstage. But at least at first, and now with our baby, it's gotta be hard—always being gone."

"You have no idea." He mumbles shifting his gaze to the, for once, quiet, streets of LA. "It's so hard now. It's like I'm being torn in two when I have to leave. Part of me gets excited and can't wait because I know how high being on stage makes me feel. It's like I'm invincible. Like everything I say matters. It's a feeling I've craved since I was like 15 and we got started. Except now it's different, because now there's another way I can get that high." He brings his gaze back to meet mine. His squishy cheeks flushed, like he's embarrassed, like he's admitting some big secret. "You and P give me all of those same feelings and more. So when I have to leave it's like I have to replace one version of me with another."

I reach out to squeeze his fingers and he traps my hand before lifting it to press a sweet kiss to my hand. "I love you."

"I love you more, Cal."