Just Pretending

Chapter Six

"I'm.."

"James get the out!"

"Please don't be mad!" Tears began to stream down his little face, but I didn't care.

"You know what? I am mad! I spent months saving up for this and you destroy it! You ruin everything James, EVERYTHING!"

"I'm sorry!"

"Why don't you just get out of my life already!?"

He froze at the words I had said to him. I regretted them the minute they spilled out, but I wasn't going to admit it.

"Fine."

I opened my mouth to apologize, but he was already gone.

*****

"Demi!" I awoke from my daydream to find Louis' face inches away from me. He looked worried.

"I'm sorry." My voice cracked and I began to cry..hard. Louis pulled me into a hug and held me, not caring that everyone was watching. I pulled away and looked at everyone, "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize." Andrea said softly as she gripped Nialls hand.

I turned my focus to Eleanor who looked like she was going to cry herself.

"El, don't worry. You didn't make me cry..I just..." I couldn't finish the sentence..I never talked about it. It was too painful.

"Stop. You don't need to explain yourself." Louis said to me, brushing my hair away from my eyes.

God I loved him.

"I think I'm going to go home. I don't feel good."

Everyone slowly nodded, understanding.

All except for Louis, "I don't think you should be alone right now, I'll come with you." he whispered.

I wanted him to...so bad. But even though I hated it with every fiber of my being, I knew he had to stay here with Eleanor.

"You can't leave her." I said nodding my head towards El, "And I'll..I'll be okay."

He just looked into my eyes, not convinced at all. He was really good at reading people. It was one of the things I loved most about him.

"Do you need a ride?" Harry's hopeful voice chimed in after I stood.

"I have my car. I'll be okay guys, really." I tried my most convincing smile, knowing no one would buy it anyway.

******

I got home and immediately crawled into my bed. It was hard to do anything when I thought about that night. I curled up beneath my covers and drifted off to sleep...

**Flashback**

"Wheres your brother?" my moms worried face burst into my room, "I've looked every where. He isn't outside or in the house." her voice shook as she looked at me, hoping I had any information about her baby boy.

"I..I dont know.." I stood and grabbed my jacket putting it on, "I'll walk around and call out his name. Maybe he walked to the park."

I ran outside without another word and began to look for him.

"JAMES?" I yelled every so often as I approached the park. I could see a small shadow turn from beneath a tree and run towards me.

I let out a sigh of relief while coming to a stop.

Right as he reached the street bright lights were coming from the other end.

It happened so fast...so fast.

"JAMES! NO!"

*******

"NO!" I screamed and shot up in bed as I began to cry.

I felt warm arms wrap around me, "Sh, it's going to be okay, I'm here. I'm here."

Louis soft voice comforted me as we laid back down and he pulled me on to his chest.

I was shaking, "Why..do I have to be reminded! Why!"

"I don't know. I'm so sorry. I'm here though, I'm always here."

My sobs slowly became quieter as Louis brushed my hair. I felt so safe with him. He made me feel alright. Only he could do that.

"Louis?"

"Yes?"

"You didn't have to come."

"Yes I did."

"Why?"

"Because you're my best friend. I was there for you when..when it happened..and I'm going to be here for you now. No matter what. Okay?"

"Okay."

I closed my eyes and tried to fall back asleep. I wanted to tell him so much that I loved him. That I was in love with him. But instead I looked up at him and whispered, "Lou? Sing me to sleep?"

He nodded, "Of course."

"Tomorrow morning if you wake up, and the sun does not appear, I, I will be here. If in the dark you lose sight of love, hold my hand and have no fear, 'cuz I, I will be here. I will be here, when you feel like being quiet, when you need to speak your mind, I will listen and I will be here, when laughter turns to cryin, through the winning, losing and trying, we'll be together...and I will be here....."