After Y/n' s refusal to live with her father, she moves into a small apartment in the suburbs, where she quickly learns how to live frugally.
As her last year of high school is just around the corner, she gets caught up in a great deal of danger. A...
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Momma never told me how to love
Daddy never told me how to feel
Momma never told me how to touch
Daddy never showed me how to heal
Momma never set a good example
Daddy never held momma's hand
Momma found everything hard to handle
Daddy never stood up like a man
...
"I like you..." The words I had spoken out without carefully considering them first, would have been irrelevant and easily forgotten...Of course if my assumption had been right and the male was indeed asleep. But unfortunately he was wide awake. Every last of my reflected confession was heard loud and clear, like the rain in an abandoned, dull house.
Every droplet sensed...And counted.
In my dizzy state, I confusingly thought I had only managed to utter the sentence to myself, considering myself equal to a child that wished for a miracle before going to sleep and not truly telling something in such a haze, an embarrassing position at most.
My eyelids were tightly closed by that point as well as the surprising confession that was muted by the suffocating silence. I just began drifting into the realm of dreams, when a rustling noise behind me and the warmth that had been tightly clutching me, strangely making my skin electrized, backed away in matter of seconds.
That particular moment forced my active part of brain to unravel the sudden cause of change, as I opened my eyes in disbelief. "Shit." I mouthed.
Without delaying to move from my spot, even though I was feeling lightheaded, the adrenaline rushed through me and made more awake than ever. I spun around. My heart thumped so hard that I swore it was audible when his blazing eyes met mine.
Crunching my face, I grabbed the nearest cover and squeezed it. "Look, Kid...I-I...It is not..."
His perplexed gaze stopped me in mid-sentence. His voice was deep. "What...did you say...before? Do you remember then?"
"Remember? Remember what?" I shook my head. "No, Kid... What I just said ... I-I... It was just a joke." The lie slipped out, smooth and easy as well as a fake laugh that left my throat, a failed try for a gay, carefree tone. "Y-yeah, i-it was just a joke." Desperate to change the mistake I even lightly punched him, mutely trying to decrease the tension. "I got you good, didn't I?" I could hardly bare the grieving inside me but believed that I hid my sorrow from him. However my body didn't seem to agree with my decision. A sharp pain lanced through my head and colorful spots flashed in front of my eyes, it felt like my whole body had been beaten...Just because of one lie. One lie that fucking hurts so much.
Kid immediately closed the distance between us and caught my wrists in his hold. I nudged my head, avoiding the fatal discovery of my teary eyes. "Don' t you turn your face away from me, Y/n. Tell me again, what you said."
"I-I can't."
"Yes, you can." He firmly squeezed my hands. "Say it."
"Kid, stop, I-I wasn't in the right state of mind. I just...blurted out...Some nonsense...It...i-is not a big deal."
"Then why are you blushing so much?" He wrinkled his non-existent brow in confusion. "Is there a particular reason?"
I nervously fidgeted, my heart twisted and sunk with nerves as I sat in front of him. "W-who said I was blushing?"
"Your face, clearly." The contact resembled more a thorough examination than a stare, feeling the eternity on my shoulders building up.
Kid sighed before standing up.
"Where are you going?"
"It seems I made you too uncomfortable. I'll just take the couch."
While I contemplated whether to stop him or not, his back was already facing me.
"No!"
Bewildered, the male turned around only to see my vulnerably clutching hand on my chest with the head prompt down, almost reaching the mattress. "If I say it, you will hate me...even more." I whispered, my voice shaking from the truth I was about to tell.
But to all my expected reactions, this one was the most startling. Kid flinched, anger visibly rising in him. "Hate?!" His lip twitched. "You are now really pissing me off, Y/n. Idiot ... Why the fuck would you say such a moronic thing?!" The male gulped when his eyes darted to my bandaged wrist. Recognition enlightened his expression. "Hmmm, I understand." His gaze then continued to my fidgeting fingers. "Are you scared of me, Y/n? Repulsed? Agitated?" The male acquired, passively waiting for the response. However, the answers he longed to get, didn't come. I shamefully opened my mouth several times, but not a word left me. I was just oozing like a trapped animal and stared into those bright red eyes that burned with sorrow and anger.
"Answer me, dammit!" He aggregately shouted, almost punching the wall beside him and leaving a permanent mark on it. By now I felt like a suffocating fish on the shore, begging for ounce of water.
"Do you have nothing to say?" He demanded. "Or are you that traumatized...for what I did...and what I am?" Kid's eyes desperately searched mine for something reasonable, touchable.
I feel the fear. I take a step forwards. I feel the fear. I take a step forwards. And then, as if by magic, I found confidence, I found my voice.
"I like you, Kid." I said.
"Wh-"
"I don't know what kind of sorcery infatuated me with this feeling, but ... I like you ..." Now I stood in front of him, my insides quivering but my face set hard.
I inhaled deeply.
I didn' t know when my first punch pierced his chest. But when it did, my furious hits continued. "The idiot here is you, you dumbass. Asshole. Jerk." My swearing accompanied the rained blows that were thrown onto the male, until my arms gave up and I could only lean on him, sobbing. "I love you, Kid..." I hid my face in his chest, while my lips fluttered and felt all drained up. "... And I don't know what to do about it."
Staying like this, I counted down the passing time. The silence made itself so comfortable around me that I shook from the vibrating feeling of his chest when he said: "This isn't good." I focused only the gray shirt, but I could see from the corners of my eyes his hand going through his messy red hair. "This isn't good at all."
"W-why are you repeating yourself?"
"Y/n. Listen to me, ok? Forget about this feelings you supposedly have towards me. You need to forget about them. Obliterate, smash, kill them...Whatever you do...Act as they have never existed."
My eyes widened, breaths ragged, harsh...My clutched hands helplessly fell to the sides.
