Something New (OnHo)

I Need To Withstand

Jinki took a deep breath as Kibum walked out of sight, trying to convince himself that he was right, that Kibum wouldn't be able to do it. He held back the start of tears, his ringtone calming him down a bit, smiling at Jonghyun's name on the screen.

"Hello?" Jinki answered, turning to enter the hospital.

"Did you find Kibum?" Taemin's voice made his stomach flip.

"Ah.. Yeah, he left early" Jinki swallowed the lump in his throat, "Why'd you call on Jonghyun's phone?"

"I left mine in the car, are you headed back?" Taemin asked.

"Yes, I just walked back in" Jinki was trying to keep his voice steady.

"Are you okay?" Taemin's voice was gentle now.

"I'm fine, I'll see you soon" Jinki insisted, hanging up before the younger could ask anything else.

He made a beeline for the closest bathroom, knowing the tears were coming, he'd rather let them out then cry in front of everyone. He didn't want them asking what was wrong, he didn't want to scare them, Jinki just hoped he could trust Kibum. For now, he let the 'what if's get to him, crying to himself in a hopefully vacant bathroom.

After a few breathing exercises and some wads of tear covered paper towels, Jinki started back on the path back to his friends. On the way, he thought up a list of excuses in case he were to breakdown again, wanting to keep the conversation with Kibum as secret as possible. He put on his brightest smile as Taemin came into view, waiting outside of Minho's room for him.

"There you are" Taemin smiled back, "Jonghyun's inside, but if you want to be alone with Minho he said he'll-"

Jinki cut the younger off with a hug, one that Jinki knew was probably too tight or too emotional, but he needed to get it out of him. Taemin hugged back, although shocked by the older.

"Sorry, I'm just glad we're all safe" Jinki lied as they broke apart.

"Don't be sorry, I understand" Taemin's smile almost broke Jinki's heart.

Jinki couldn't help the sad smile that spread itself on his face as he stared at Taemin.

"I'll go in now" Jinki announced somewhat awkwardly, not wanting to worry the younger.

Taemin nodded as Jinki opened the door, Jonghyun and Minho's smiles aimed at him, making his heart feel warm again, if only for a second.

"Do you two want to be alone?" Jonghyun asked, and Jinki wasted no time nodded.

Jonghyun got up, patting Jinki's back as he passed, and Jinki was thankful he didn't ask about the talk with Kibum. Jinki took a seat by Minho's bed, and the two were silent until they heard the door close.

"How are you feeling?" Jinki started, trying to sound normal.

"A little uncomfortable, but that's to be expected" Minho answered, carefully placing his hand over Jinki's.

They smiled at each other, but Jinki's smile was cut short, the older looking down in shame as he thought about Kibum again.

"Did something happen?" Minho asked and Jinki quickly shook his head.

"No, no, I was just thinking about how grateful I am that everyone is safe" Jinki told the lie again, squeezing Minho's hand.

Minho didn't press further, and Jinki internally sighed in relief.

"Did Kibum leave already?" Minho asked.

"Yeah he left early" Jinki took a deep breath.

"Are you sure everything's alright?" Jinki dreaded that question.

He nodded at first, not wanting to answer, looking up at the wall instead of at Minho.

"Jinki" Minho spoke softly, "If something's wrong, even if I can't fix it, I'm here to listen, to take part of the burden away" Jinki couldn't help tearing up at this.

Minho wiped Jinki's tears with his free hand, Jinki cursing himself for slipping in front of him.

"I'm sorry" Jinki apologized and Minho shook his head.

"Don't be, it's okay" Minho smiled sweetly, now holding Jinki's hand with both of his.

Jinki smiled back shortly, his head dropping down to look at their hands as he considered what he was going to say next.

"Minho.. Do you.." Jinki paused, "Do you trust Kibum?" Jinki looked at Minho with a sense of desperation.

"What is this about?" Minho asked.

"I just wanna know, do you trust him?" Jinki insisted, too ashamed to tell the truth.

"Is everything okay? Did Kibum-"

"Just answer me, please Minho" Jinki pleaded, becoming scared of the answer.

Minho nodded, "He's one of my closest friends so.. Yes, I do"

Jinki was happy with the answer, but it felt like only a piece of the boulder on his shoulders had been taken off.

"Ah.. That's good then" Jinki had a small smile as he looked at the floor.

So all he had to do was trust in Kibum, but why did that sound so hard?