Professional Jacka*s

17; you're going to make me cry

My hair was getting blown like crazy in the wind. I would be lying if that didn't immediately annoyed me. The feeling of hair flying in your face, all over your eyes and lips; hate it. I pulled the hood of the sweatshirt up and shoved my hair inside.

As I was failing to keep all of my hair strands in the hoodie, I stomped my foot and groaned, "Go away!" I said loudly.

Ryan was walking in front of me, I got his attention a few seconds ago when I was throwing a tantrum.

Ryan laughs and watches me, "What's wrong with you?"

I rolled my eyes and started getting extremely upset, "My hair won't get out of my face. Stop laughing at me I'm already in a bad mood."

Just then, as Ryan was laughing, he pulls his hands out of his pocket and walks behind me. I watched him as he walked around.

"What?" I asked, not amused.

He lifted his arm up and showed me the hair tie he had on his wrist.

I looked at him weirdly, "Is that Kate's?"

He nodded, "I mean it's just a hair tie though."

Ryan didn't look sad about Kate anymore. I felt like this whole weeping walking trip was just for me to feel better.

I calculated what had happened a second ago, "Were you going to tie my hair?" I asked him, grinning from his offer.

He nodded again, "Why? I can't?"

I laughed and grabbed the hair tie from his wrist, "Uh, no," I furrowed my eyebrows as I wrapped my hair in a high bun, "Of course not."

"But-" he was cut off when I looked at him with a 'really?' expression.

"You touched my hair twice, and those two times, you had to wash off your little candies. I don't want you to touch these babies again," I pointed to him as I finished tying my hair.

He ended up laughing, "Come on now," he defended, "the second time was completely your fault."

I ignored his rebuttal, and started making my way towards the pier.

He followed me quickly afterwards.

We were walking side by side. I was breathing in the cool air, and looking around at the ocean. There were a few people at the platform, but it wasn't crowded. It was quiet, but I could still hear people talking faintly and the sound of waves crashing.

"So," I started, looking at Ryan, "Is there a plan to get Kate back?"

Ryan shrugs and looks at his feet, "I don't know. I don't know if it's even worth it anymore."

"Why?" I asked curiously, a few hours ago he was so upset.

"I thought about it when I was driving," he says, a little quieter while shoving his hands in his pockets, "I barely knew anything about her, to be honest. I dated her because she was cute."

I raised an eyebrow, "Wow. I was convinced that you were in love with her or something."

He breathes in deeply, "Yeah, I'm not you."

Taken aback by his comment, I stopped walking, "What are you saying?" I crossed my arms. It was too soon to make this joke, too soon.

"I'm just kidding," he released an amused chuckle.

I brought my hands up to my face.

My body was too tired, my brain was too mushy gushy from everything, and the fact that my period starts next week did not help my roller coaster of emotions.

"You're going to make me cry," I said quietly, covering my mouth with the sleeves.

Ryan laughs and pushes my shoulder gently, "Shut up Juni, it was a joke."

Tears started to form in my eyes, and my vision gets slightly blurry. I know I look stupid right now, but my sensitive heart can't take it.

"Wait, are you serious?" Ryan asks, as he leans in towards my face, watching my eyes form tear drops.

Tears started falling down my cheeks and I smashed my face against my sleeve covered palm.

I didn't see anything at that moment, but I could feel Ryan jumping up from his place and panicking, "Dude, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it."

I felt his hands awkwardly rubbing my arms as I was crying.

"You made fun of me for liking a boy," I looked up at him and continued to bury my face back into my hands.

He looked stunned for a second, until I didn't bother to look at him anymore. I was too busy being emotional.

"I'm sorry," he said again.

All of a sudden, the hands he was rubbing my arm with suddenly pulled me forward. I felt his arm wrap around my body, and the other rubbing my back.

Not going to lie, this made me cry even more.

It was the same feeling of holding in your tears for five minutes straight and then someone coming up to you and asking you if you are okay.

I looked up as he was hugging me, "You're so fucking mean to me," I sobbed, staring at his face that was well over a few inches away.

He started laughing and brought his own sleeve up to wipe my tears, "No I'm not, you idiot."

"Since I'm a mess right now," I managed to say in between my crying hiccups, "Did you mean it when you told me to stay out of your life?"

Ryan's eyebrows lifted as all that was planted on his face was amusement, "No, of course not."

I continued to sob, "Okay thank god, I thought you hated me."

The rest of the pier walking time consisted of a little bit of crying, him cracking jokes, me wanting to push him off the platform, him making fun of me a Dylan, still too soon and a little bit of peace and quiet.

We're back in his car now, and I couldn't be happier to feel my butt warm up from the seat warmers and the heater hitting my face.

I sat down in the passenger seat and leaned back while stretching.

"Are you hungry?" Ryan asks, looking back as he is backing out of the parking lot.

"Yes," I answered quickly, realizing that I've hibernated for the whole day today without eating anything.

"What are you in the mood for?" he asks, occupied by driving.

"I want burritos," I smirked. The thought of biting into a big juicy burrito with steak, guac, rice and all of the other goodness made me crave it even more.

Ryan chuckles, "Alright."

After getting food, Ryan dropped me off at my house.

To my surprise, I came home, brushed my teeth and fell asleep like a baby; without crying this time.

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