Padshah begam..The True Love Story.

Chapter:8 "Memories"

The droplets of sweat were formed on her forehead in the rather cold  december night
Her breathing became heavy and the room suddenly felt warmer inspite of the fact that it was chilling cold outside.
Unable to breathe properly she took off her blanket and walked towards the window,where the cold wind touched her face which made her feel somewhat better.

All this time the memories kept repeating themselves in her mind,she was unable to control them,she was  unable to, she couldn't do anything about them.

She had tried to forget them,not once, not twice but unlimited times, yet they never went away permanantly, she tried to divert her mind by engaging in different activities of the harem and her family and was able to forget them temporarily but they always returned...

She sighed at her helplessness and looked outside where the rain poured from the clouds was making the ground wet just like the tears that came out of her eyes,making her cheeks wet.

She put her hand out to feel droplets of rain trying to catch them in her hand but was unable to.
Tears slipped down from her eyes as she remembered her past.

Wiping away her tears she looked up towards the sky filled with clouds that were continuously draining the water.It seemed as if the clouds were weeping too,just like her, giving her company.
Maybe it was God's way to let her know that she was not alone.

Lost in her own thoughts,she felt a pair of arms around her waist,hugging her tightly from behind,which made her feel better,safe and protected.
Being in his arms made her feel that the life still was beautiful and the future might be better.

Shhh...Everything will be okay..
Said Jalal nudging his face in her hair that rested on her shoulder as a tear slipped down her cheek.

Hearing her sobs made his heart ache and what made him furious was the fact that he could do nothing about it.

Again the same dream
Asked Jalal closing his eyes.

why Jalal why..? If i am trying to forget everything then why those dreams, those memories keep haunting me..
Ruqaiya said inbetween her sobs clutching tightly on Jalal's hands that rested on her waist.

Jalal was unable to say anything as he had no answers to her questions.

Eeverything is gonna be fine one day..don't worry,don't stress too much about it..it's just past, the present is beautiful and the future would be better.Have faith in God.
Jalal said trying to soothe her.

I don't know when would this end, i can't take it anymore.Jalal.I just can't..
Ruqaiya said while crying unable to stop her tears.

Moving his hands away from her,she walked towards the sofa placed near her bed and sat on it,placing her face in her hands.

Jalal stood there for a while thinking about something,then came towards her and sat beside her in the sofa.
Taking her hands in his own he placed a kiss on them and started rubbbing the back of her hands to soothe her alittle.

Jalal was startled seeing her condition, he knew the pain that she had went through and is still experiencing but he was unable to do anything about it.

How I wish i could have stopped everything back then.Ruqaiya.It's all my fault,i couldn't protect our children.I'm sorry,so sorry.
Jalal said turning Ruqaiya to face him and holding her hands in his own.

It wasn't your fault, Jalal,it wasn't, so stop being sorry.Maybe that was written in our destiny,and we have to accept it..that's the only thing we can do.
Ruqaiya said looking into Jalal's eyes.

Yeah! and we are mere humans,helpless, with no control over God's plans.
Jalal said placing his head on Ruqaiya's shoulder.
Ruqaiya tilted her head to have a clear look at Jalal,pain,anxiousness and worry was written all over his face and she knew it was because of her,he was worried for her.
But that's not what she wanted she doesn't wanted to cause him any more  trouble,he already had enough things to worry about and she doesn't wanted to be one of them.

I have been too poignant in handling my emotions ,wish i had behaved better,in a more mature way.Neverthless, i'll try to move ahead and forget everything.

Ruqaiya said running her hand through Jalal's hair, whose head still rested on her shoulder.

Jalal looked upto towards her face and gave a warm smile which Ruqaiya gladly returned.

Come on now it's too late, you need to rest.
Jalal said and got up taking Ruqaiya's hand in his own and walked towards the bed.

He made Ruqaiya lay on the bed, putting the blanket over her.

Meanwhile, he walked towards the window to close it as the sound of lightening alongwith the rain started to get louder.

He laid beside her under the same blanket and put  his arm over her bringing her closer than she already was and placed a kiss over her forehead
.Ruqaiya smiled at his gesture but kept her eyes closed turning her head to the other side.Jalal turned her head towards him with his hand.

Keep your face towards me when i'm with you.
Jalal said making himself comfortable.
Ruqaiya didn't say anything just placed her hand over his arm that rested over her and slowly drifted off to sleep.