Journey West 5000

Chapter 37 - Metaphorical Mountain

"Ahahaha! Is that old man sleeping on his feet?"

"What about that grinning fatty? So scared to die he needs two shields? Huahuahua!"

"Gao village is so desperate, they had to call out their women to fight us with the big spears?"

"Maybe the spears are too big for the men? BWAHAHA!"

"Ei, ei, look at that monkey demon! He thinks some last minute weapons training will save him!"

"HYAAAhyahyahyah!"

The only one who didn't laugh was Scaletooth, who looked on suspiciously with narrowed eyes. For some reason, his instincts were telling him that this situation was like when a crocodile would pretend to be a log of dead wood, innocently floating in a calm river.

Wukong couldn't stand the mockery any longer. Brandishing his quarterstaff, he went to stand beside Trip. He slammed one end of his quarterstaff on the ground, while striking a pose with his chest puffed out, his nose pointed upwards, and his finger pointing directly at Shi Hu.

"All you little kitties listen up! I, the Great Sage Equaling Heaven, am here to beat all of you into meat paste! These others with me are here to make sure I don't go overboard and bully all you tender kittens too much! Now, all together, come at me!"

Faced with this shameless boasting, some of the demons in the battalion only laughed harder. While others, many others, took offence.

Shi Hu couldn't decide whether he was one or the other. With a relaxed grin, he shouted back, "Oi, little monkey, looks like you have eyes but fail to recognize Mount Tai! Let me-"

"Have you even BEEN to Mount Tai, you little whippersnapper? I've cavorted and danced on the peak of Mount Tai, I've eaten ginseng from the slopes, hunted wild boar at its feet, and spent many a restful night in its trees! Who are YOU to mention Mount Tai to me?" Wukong was starting to look genuinely irritated.

Looking confused, Shi Hu turned to Scale-tooth. "Is he saying there's really a Mount Tai? I thought it was one of those... you know... matter-fors?"

Scale-tooth sighed. "You mean metaphors. Look, it doesn't matter. Listen to me, there's something wrong here, we need to be carefu-"

"Hey monkey! You're good at talking big! Let's see if you can fight as well as you can talk! COME ON!" Shi Hu took a forceful step forward, deliberately stamping on the ground, flexing his rock-hard muscles and puffing out his mane. This was one of his most effective intimidation techniques. He had been using it since his first promotion challenge when he was in his teens. He knew it was effective.

Gao Shu and Gao Luan froze, eyes wide open, staring at Shi Hu.

"Oh?" Shi Hu said to himself. The reaction of the two women had not gone unnoticed.

Shi Hu grinned savagely, and took another step.

Gao Shu and Gao Luan took a few panicked steps backwards, then froze again. By now, the other defenders, were also looking either wary or outright scared, with the exception of Trip and Wukong.

"Aiiiii! We shouldn't be out here! We're going to die!" screamed Bajie. Like the breaking of a dam, it caused most of the defenders to run back to the village gates, screaming incoherently while banging on the gates. Elder Jing was the loudest, screaming and waving his hands, almost sounding as though he was crying. Elder Mu, on the other hand, was stiff and wooden, like a puppet being forced to move by the hands of another.

Only Wukong and Trip remained, facing down Shi Hu and the rest of the battalion.

"Haha! Scared rabbits pretending to be lions! Men, it's dinner time! CHARGE!" roared Shi Hu.

The demons howled and yipped, breaking into an all-out sprint along the clear corridor, towards the village gates.

-- Chapter 37, End --

This is what a nine-ringed broadsword looks like. It's theorized that the rings are there to add weight to blows. Or just there to produce the ringing sound of approaching doom...?