Journey West 5000

Chapter 12 - Mine Is Bigger Than Yours!

"Here are the Abbot's quarters," said Brother Mender, as he knocked on an impressively ornate wooden door. The golden door knocker consisted of a plate in the shape of the entwined double helix spring, while the part on a hinge used to do the actual knocking was in the shape of a gear.

The door opened with the tiniest of squeaks, revealing a thin monk with bushy black eyebrows, a thin nose, and thin lips, dressed in full length robes made of shiny yellow cloth. He immediately gave off the impression that he was looking down on everyone and everything. So supercilious was his manner, that it seemed as though he was examining them with his nostrils, rather than his eyes. His nostrils bypassed Trip and Wukong to point at Brother Mender.

"Yeeess... Brother?"

"Did Brother Gentle Wave not deliver the message? This is Sister Trip, a Sister of the Faith, here to meet the Abbot."

"How do you know she's a Sister of the Faith? Just because she says she's one? As the gatekeeper, are you letting just anybody into the Monastery? Are you a gatekeeper, or an usher? Perhaps you still fail to understand the duties --"

Wukong suddenly shoved the monk, causing him to fly a few feet backwards, before falling flat on his behind to slide another few feet more on the stone floor. Wukong then shoved the half-open door, causing it to slam against the stone wall with a loud BANG, revealing another two occupants in the room, one seated behind a long low table, another standing beside the seated one. Both occupants were dressed in the same shiny yellow full length robes, and were staring at Wukong in shock.

"Hey there Mister Monk Man!" Wukong boomed as he strode forward with his chest puffed out and one hand resting on the metal quarterstaff slotted through the back of his tiger-skin kilt. He gave off the air of a certain type of emperor who, while taking a walk in his own palace, decided to enter the rooms of his servants on a whim.

However, this room definitely did not look like it belonged to any servant. It contained cupboards and bookshelves made of a warm, shiny, dark-brown wood. The kind of wood that gleams so expensively, the smallest speck of dirt would stand out on it like an elephant standing on a plain of ice. The bookshelves were lined with rare books instead of scrolls. Thick, luxurious carpets and cushions were scattered all over the floor, and equally thick curtains were hung over the windows and on the walls. There was a fire cheerfully crackling away in a firepit in the center of the room.

The area between the firepit and the wall opposite the door was dominated by the long, low table of about knee height that one of the monks was sitting behind. Upon closer examination, it consisted of three square tables arranged side by side. Amazingly, they were of equally perfect dimensions, causing them to resemble a single long table, arranged as they were.

"Your man there didn't give us much of a welcome, but I know that, as the Monk of Monks, you would want to extend every courtesy towards the Great Sage Equaling Heaven and his Mistress, the Ever-Righteous Lady Trip! So I decided to help you out and discipline your man there a little bit for you!"

Upon hearing the ridiculous title that Wukong had invented for her, Trip's mouth opened the tiniest bit. Then she closed it back, deciding to hold her peace.

"I apologise on behalf of Brother Broad Plans. He does tend to take his duties... very seriously. I am the Abbot, welcome to the Monastery of LGS" said the monk seated behind the table, in a deep sonorous voice.

The Abbot was big, meaty and soft. He looked as though he might have been muscular once in his youth, but it had all gone to fat. He had thick grey eyebrows, a red bulbous nose, fleshy red lips and a florid complexion. Like all the other monks, he was completely bald. If one was being uncharitable, it could be said that he looked like a tomato with two grey goose feather eyebrows.