Between Love & Family

Chapter 28

~Warning Sexual Content~

Alanas POV

"Above everything, I will choose you." Staring into his eyes I believe every word he says, I can see the truth of it in his eyes as he looks at me tenderly. The tears I was fighting back spilling over as I pull him into another kiss. Reaching up to run my fingers through his hairs he picks me up by my thighs and I wrap my legs around his waist as he carries me over to the bed.

Hovering over me his lips leave mine only to start down my neck and his hands roaming over my body. Pressing himself between my legs I arch my back, wanting to get closer to him. The heat of our (Interrupted) earlier encounter returning full force as I feel an ache begin that I know only he can satisfy.

We push away our problem, our families and the lies and focus on us. Desperate to feel his heat I start pulling his shirt up and in a flash I have it over his head and throw it on the floor. Grinning at me Jamie pulls me up and pulls my shirt up over my head throwing it with his before pulling down my pants and panties in one swift movement. Stepping out of them u back toward the bed as he undoes the buttons on his jeans, kicking them off he stalks toward me, eyes dark and hungry.

Without a word I lean back on the cool sheets as Tyler positions himself between my legs, pushing my knees as far apart as they can and rubbing against me. I can feel him at my entrance and I try to rock my hips but his grip on my knees has me firmly held in place. Looking up at him I can see the mischievous smile on his lips. Ok well, two can play that game. Leaning up I reach between us and grab his length, feeling satisfied as I hear him suck in a breath as I move my hand slowly up and down his length keeping an innocent smile on my face as I watch him.

It doesn't take long for him to cave, leaning over my he pulls me into another kiss and as soon as I move my hands from him length up to his back he plunges into me, filling me so deeply I can't help but moan into his mouth. Without breaking our kiss he pulls back and pounds back into me, over and over till I can barely see straight. Unable to control myself I throw myself back on the bed and grab the headboard for leverage as Jamie continues.

This was unlike anything I had experienced with him, just raw need and emotion. Like we were both taking refuge in the physical pleasure our needs brought us. It doesn't take long to feel the tightening in my stomach, my walls contracting around him as the room is filled with the sounds of our, please. My release hits me so hard I can't think straight, all my senses struggling to return to normal as I relax into the bed vaguely aware of Jamie resting his head on my stomach still careful to keep his weight off of me.

We stay like that for a moment, our breathing returning to normal. Jamie pulls himself away long enough to grab us a towel to wipe off with, then climbing into bed he pulls me to him. "Where do we go from here Jamie?" I ask him and I watch him trace lazy circles up and down my arm. He didn't answer for a long time and I stayed silent, listening to the sound of his heartbeat.

When he finally speaks his voice is low, as if he is trying to keep the pain from betraying his smooth even tone "Red has been like a father to me, and although I am not happy to have been kept in the dark about his past dealings with Javier, I also don't feel its enough for us to questions Red's loyalty." I angle my head back so that I can see his face.

"I'm not questioning his loyalty either Jamie, what I am more worried about Is my presence putting the rest of the guys at risk. Look what happened on the rescue mission, you were shot! Tyler is dead and it could have easily gone wrong and..." he runs his thumb over my bottom lip, cutting me off "Alana none of that was your fault and I will not have you feeling guilty." Knowing there was no use arguing with him about it I shut my mouth, but the worry still lingered inside of me....was I selfish? Were WE being selfish?

The images of what I saw on that yacht, the lasting consequences of the decisions made there kept resurfacing in my mind. Yes, I wanted to be safe, to be happy with Jamie by my side for the rest of or lives. I wanted to graduate and start my business...start a family. But at who's expense what that going to happen? Jamie said he would always choose me, but what if I chose him...over myself? 

Jamie's POV

Laying there with Alana in my arms I felt peaceful, not knowing exactly how long it was going to last but feeling as though I needed to enjoy these fleeting moments when our world wasn't trying to crash down on us. Alana had gone quiet and I could tell that she was thinking about something but I didn't want to push her, I felt she would tell me when she was ready.

Continuing my pattern of circles up and down her arm I let my mind wander, thinking back to the first time I saw her on campus. Her natural beauty and how her determination shown bright, she was always alone when I saw her and always had at least one book. I think I was in love with her before I ever even spoke to her to be completely honest.

Looking back on the events of recent months I cannot bring myself to regret it..talking to her...touching her...being with her...I didn't regret a single thing. Looking down at her small frame I relish the peaceful look on her face, she has fallen asleep while I was mulling over memories. Kissing her forehead I clear my mind, knowing I needed a good night's sleep to face events yet to pass.

~The next morning~

I wake with a start, not really knowing why until I realize that Alana Is no longer in my arms. The bed is cold like she hasn't been there in a while. Getting up I throw some Joggers on check the bathroom...she's not there. Opening the door to our room and making my way to the kitchen Jackson and Elijah are sitting at the kitchen counter talking and drinking coffee. They stop when they see me, "Jamie? You all right?" Jackson asks me as Elijah just studies me, waiting for my answer.

"Have you guys seen Alana? I woke up and she wasn't there...."They look at each other and back at me and at that moment I feel a ball of sickening dread begin to rise in the pit of my stomach. Elijah comes over to me, putting a hand on my shoulder "come on Jamie, we will help you look for her...she probably wanted to let you sleep and went to explore the grounds or something."

Everything in me prayed that he was right but I couldn't shake the nagging feeling, remembering back to her wrestling with her own thoughts last night without speaking the. I hear footsteps on the stairs and I instantly whip my head around, praying its Alana. It's Noah and when he sees me his pace slows until he is standing right in front of me.

"What's up Noah?" I ask him, he looks up at me, I can see the pain in his eyes and it just adds to the ball if dread in my stomach. "Jamie, I don't know how to tell you this so I'm just going to come out and say it. When I went to do my normal morning inventory....there were 2 weapons unaccounted for as well as ammunition." What? Had someone gotten into the compound? I shake my head, impossible but...what if someone got out?

Realization dawns on me as I look back to Noah, he simply hands me a folded piece of white paper and moves to go stand next to Elijah and Jackson. Looking down at the small paper in my hand I see my name, written is Alanas perfect little cursive letters with a heart over the 'i' in my name. The ball in my stomach is aching as I slowly unfold the paper Noah had given me.

Jamie,

I want to start with, I love you. I would give anything in the world to just be with you, to start a family with you and to grow old with you. Every Second I have spent by your side were the happiest of my life. I don't regret a thing and I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. As much as I want to be selfish and stay with you no matter what I will not put any more of your family in danger. You may not blame me for Tyler but I can't help but feel responsible. I know you two had your differences but I think I was just the straw that broke the camels back so to speak. I need to end this, and I know you want to come looking for me but please don't Jamie. I have to do this myself and I need you to continue looking out for your family. If everything goes according to plan I will be back and hopefully, you will forgive me for this. Until that day..just know that I Love you.

                                                                                                                                                    Alana

In that moment, reading her words..knowing she had left. I broke.